


turning on jazz

by topazios



Category: Monsta X (Band), No.MERCY (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Binge Drinking, Bisexual Character, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-04
Updated: 2016-03-04
Packaged: 2018-05-24 15:36:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 29,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6158344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/topazios/pseuds/topazios
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The ups and downs of a college “relationship”.</p>
            </blockquote>





	turning on jazz

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [Blue_moon](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Blue_moon) collection. 



> for reference:  
> hyunwoo - junior  
> hoseok, hyungwon, kihyun, jooheon, minhyuk - sophomore  
> changkyun, yoonho, minkyun - freshman
> 
>  
> 
> title from eddy kim's [the manual](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4mH2KvzUQ0).

 

 

 

 

 

 

#

 

“Hoseok, will you please, for the love of _god_ , get off your phone and take your goddamn frappe,” Jooheon hisses, loudly enough that the customer standing next to Hoseok flinches away. It’s not surprising. Jooheon sounds like the angry cats that Hoseok has to deal with because Minhyuk can’t stop himself from bringing home every single stray he sees. 

“If you don’t take it,” Jooheon says, “I’m going to drink it myself and I don’t care if I get diabetes from all the sugar. And also fired for taking a customer’s drink.” 

“Oh calm down,” Hoseok says, laughing, returning Jooheon’s glare with a wink. But he can’t actually wink, so it’s more of a blink. “You used to be so chill, what happened to you?” 

“There are two requirements for working as a Starbucks barista,” Jooheon says smoothly, adjusting the nametag pinned to his shirt. “One, you have to be hot. I got that down, obviously.” Hoseok snorts derisively. “Two, you have to always have a frown on your face passed off as a look of concentration, because concentration is hot.” 

“That’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever said, and I’ve heard you and Changkyun discuss Harry Potter conspiracy theories, or whatever it is you two talk about when you two are baked.” 

Jooheon threateningly points Hoseok down with a straw wrapper. “Hey, don’t talk bad about Changkyun. I’ve decided to adopt him soon because if not me, who would take care of him when Hyunwoo graduates?” 

“Um, me?” Hoseok is offended. “I’m the next oldest? I should have authority over all of you. Also, you know that Hyunwoo isn’t graduating for another like year and a half.” 

Jooheon snorts. “Okay Hoseok. So please explain to me why we had to evacuate our house six times so far this month because the smoke alarm went off, all _coincidentally_ on days that you were in charge of making dinner.” 

“One day you’re going to regret making fun of me,” Hoseok sniffs, picking up his drink and taking a sip. Maybe he really should cut down on the amount of sugar he gets in his coffees. 

“Do you still talk to Hyungwon,” Jooheon asks offhandedly. Hyungwon is Hoseok’s freshman year friends with benefits of three months before Hyungwon ending it because he thought Hoseok had feelings for him. Which Hoseok totally did _not_. Probably. Hyungwon is also their current dance team member and housemate. Hoseok narrows his eyes. Jooheon never brings up Hyungwon out of the blue unless he’s up to something.

“Why,” Hoseok says slowly. “What are you trying to do now.” The last time Jooheon brought up Hyungwon like this, it was at the beginning of last semester, when they were throwing down for start-of-year banger. Hyungwon had somehow gotten caught up with one of the flutists from the pit orchestra from Hoseok’s last musical, before he dropped his Theater major. Within five minutes, her tongue had been down his throat. Hoseok remembers shotgunning six beers after that, among other unpleasant things. 

“Hi,” Hyungwon says, right behind Hoseok, who starts praying to every single deity that he can remember that this is just a dream. One of those dreams that Minhyuk shows up wearing a shirt with corn on it and calling it a crop top. Those are not good dreams. But they are better than Hyungwon showing up out of the blue. Hoseok needs to _prepare_ for these things.

“Hey,” Jooheon says, blatantly ignoring the glares of his co-workers. “I didn’t know you were going to be on campus today. We could’ve carpooled.” 

“I took the bus,” Hyungwon says, pulling at his scarf so that it’s not wrapped too tightly around his neck. “Did either of you drive?” 

“I did,” Hoseok says. “I’m not leaving for a while though. I need to go see if the campus bookstore has my statistics textbook because it’s like $600 on Amazon for whatever reason.” 

“That’s fine,” Hyungwon says, putting his tea down on the nearest table. “I need to go see my advisor about last semester’s grades. Apparently the university thinks it’s my fault that the study abroad program started three weeks into last semester, and now I have all incompletes.” 

Hoseok remembers those three weeks of Hyungwon convincing them all to drink and quiz him on Spanish vocabulary. At the same time. It was an exhausting three weeks, to put it lightly. 

“I’m going to be done at like 3, probably,” Hyungwon says, twisting his scarf around his neck again, preparing for the cold outside. “Is that okay?” 

“Yeah that’s fine,” Hoseok says, deliberately trying to flick whipped cream from his coffee Jooheon’s face. 

“Oh, also,” Hyungwon says, slightly muffled by his scarf. “Dasom is going to over later, is that okay?” Dasom is Hyungwon’s friends with benefits, and normally a very nice girl. But Hoseok and Hyungwon share a wall now and Dasom is by no means quiet at any given time. 

“Is she spending the night?” 

“No, she’s coming over at 8 and I’m probably going to drive her back to her place after,” Hyungwon says, picking up his backpack. 

“Must be nice to have someone,” Jooheon says, but his voice is dripping with sarcasm. 

“You chased your last one night stand out of the house while she was wearing nothing but a towel,” Hoseok says. 

“Who gave her permission to use the shower?” 

“It’s common courtesy,” Hyungwon says, obviously amused. “It’s not like she stole anything.” 

“Actually no,” Hoseok says. “It was my towel.” 

“Well, she didn’t steal anything of real _value_ ,” Hyungwon amends, while Hoseok rolls his eyes. “And plus, it’s not like you even want that towel back.” 

“The whole point of me bringing this up is that I’ve gotten laid recently,” Jooheon says. “And someone here hasn’t.” 

“I love it when we talk about my sex life,” Hoseok says dryly. “Please, continue.” 

“Was Hyojung the last one?” Jooheon asks. When Hoseok doesn’t reply, he exaggerates a fainting motion. “Oh my god, she was.” 

“I mean, it’s not like I could just call her up after that… fiasco,” Hoseok says. “Although that was a great party.” 

“Minhyuk’s birthday party,” Jooheon explains to Hyungwon. “She caught him making out with some guy that none of us, including Hoseok, knows that name of, and then she threw a cake at his face. She threw Minhyuk’s _birthday_ cake.” 

“Great party,” Hoseok says, nodding. “Besides, she was getting too attached. It was time for her to go.” 

“Why are you so afraid of commitment?” Hyungwon asks, somewhat disinterestedly, warming his hands around his tea. 

“Says that guy who’s been banging the same chick for almost a year without putting a label on it,” Hoseok says. 

“We have a label,” Hyungwon says. “Friends with benefits.” 

“Girls love it,” Jooheon deadpans, completely seriously. “Really love it.”

“I bet you don’t have the guts to go to someone right now and ask for their number,” Hyungwon says, looking around and turning back around to meet Hoseok’s eyes. “You’re too scared.” 

“Who says I’m scared?” Hoseok would bare his teeth, but Minhyuk’s told him that he’s not allowed to do that anymore. 

“Okay,” Jooheon says. “Go over to a table, right now, and ask for a number. Preferably a phone number. A real phone number.” 

“Why?” 

“Are you scared?” Hyungwon repeats. Hoseok hates him.

“I can’t ask someone for a phone number,” Hoseok says. 

“But why not?” Jooheon asks. Hoseok does _not_ like it when his eyes gleam like that. 

“Because,” Hoseok says, trying not to panic. “Because I already have a boyfriend.” _Shit_.

“No, you don’t,” Jooheon says. “You haven’t had anyone over since Hyojung.” 

“We met a little before finals week,” Hoseok says, the gears in his head turning too fast. He has a headache. “There’s this whole cute story, but I’m actually meeting up with him… now.” _Shit_. This could literally not get any worse. He should stop talking. “Yeah we’re just, you know, taking it, um, slow.” 

“Really,” Hyungwon says, emphasizing each syllable. Hoseok _hates_ him. “Who?” 

“Um,” Hoseok says. This is going so badly. He is never going to be able to live this down. On his gravestone it will read, _Shin Hoseok: bitchin’ dancer, successful accountant, death by teasing_. “Him, over by the window.” He gestures at a boy sitting at a table by himself, reading a book. His frappuccino is practically melting onto the table. Hoseok likes people who drink iced beverages year-round. This could be worse. He could have picked worse.

Hyungwon is obviously suppressing a fit of laughter. “Him,” he says. “That boy over there is your boyfriend.” 

“Yes,” Hoseok says, tilting his chin up. “Do either of you have a problem with that?”

“No,” Jooheon says, turning red in the face from trying not to laugh. “But he might.” 

“I can’t look at you two anymore,” Hoseok says, grabbing his coat and his drink. “You two are dead to me. See you at home later.” With that, he beelines for the table and plops himself in the seat across from the boy. He’s reading some book, Hoseok can’t make out the title because the font is too tiny. 

“Hi,” Hoseok says, when the boy looks up, looking confused. “I’m Hoseok. Nice to meet you! I know we don’t know each other but can you do me a favor? Please? Okay thanks. I was talking to my friends and they were mean enough to say that I didn’t have the guts to just walk up to somebody and get a phone number. But I’m really bad at asking for numbers so I accidentally said that I couldn’t ask for a number because I had a boyfriend. Then I said that you were my boyfriend. So. That’s the story. What do you think?” 

“Do I know you?”

“No?” 

“You look really familiar,” the boy says, brows furrowing. “Who are your friends that sent you over here? Maybe I know them.” 

“Okay, don’t look at them,” Hoseok says. “But the barista who’s always slacking off but somehow keeps his job is Jooheon and the tall guy next to him is Hyungwon.” 

“Oh my god,” he says. “You’re Hoseok.” 

“Yes?” 

“I’m Hyungwon’s freshman year roommate.” 

“Oh my god,” Hoseok says. “You’re Kihyun.” Hoseok is going to die. He is going to evaporate and become tiny little particles which each want to die. 

“How do you know that?”

“Hyungwon mentioned you a couple times when he was over when— Never mind, that’s not important,” Hoseok concludes hastily. 

“So you told Hyungwon and Jooheon, who both know me pretty well, that you, their friend—”

“And also housemate and dance team member.”

“—and housemate and dance team member that you and I are dating,” Kihyun finishes. “You told them that.” 

“Y..es,” Hoseok says. “Yes, I did do that. Please help me. I’ll owe you forever. I just want to rub this in their faces. And I don’t want to die by their hands.” 

“And at the end of this… prank of sorts,” Kihyun says. “Will you share the rubbing it in their faces?” 

“With you?”

“Well, who else you be sharing it with?” Kihyun asks. 

“Okay,” Hoseok says. “Laugh like I said something funny.” 

“What?”

“Just do it!”

They laugh, and to Kihyun’s credit, he’s not as awkward as Hoseok thought he’d be. 

“Hi everyone,” Hyungwon says, pulling up a chair. He’s grinning like he’s just gone through three rounds with Dasom. “How are you, Kihyun?”

“I’m good,” Kihyun says, “How’s normal life treating you after you went abroad?”

“We can save that for another conversation,” Hyungwon says, waving it away. Hoseok has actually never seen Hyungwon this happy before. “Anyway, Hoseok just broke the news to me that _you two_ are _dating_.” 

Kihyun gives Hoseok a look. Hoseok tries to send a pout back with his eyes. He’s pretty sure that it doesn’t work, but Kihyun says, “Yeah. We haven’t really told anyone yet though.”

“I told you we were taking it slow,” Hoseok mutters. 

Hyungwon raises an eyebrow. Damn, Hoseok is so jealous of people who can do that. “For how long?”

“Almost two months now,” Hoseok says. “You know, new relationship. Taking it slow.” 

“We mostly just skyped and messaged each other over break,” Kihyun says, and even Hoseok believes it for a second, he’s so convincing. “We haven’t been able to meet up much.” 

“But after New Year’s, Hoseok came right back to our house,” Hyungwon points out. “Why didn’t you meet up then?”

Hoseok glares at him. Of course Hyungwon would make this difficult. 

“Oh, I just got back recently,” Kihyun says easily. “We had family visiting from all over the place and I couldn’t escape my aunts.” 

“Aw, tell your aunts I say hi,” Hyungwon says. “His aunts love me,” he explains to Hoseok, who narrows his eyes at him suspiciously. “Anyway, how’d you meet? Jooheon wanted to hear this too, but he said he had to keep making drinks unless he wanted to get punched in the back alley after work.”

“There is no back alley,” Hoseok says immediately. Kihyun kicks him under the table. “And, um. We met, like I told you, right before finals week last semester. We were both in this Starbucks, and we both ordered the same drink.” He thanks all the stars that they have the same drink now. “And the barista got confused and only made one, and Kihyun took it.” He glances at Kihyun, who looks pretty impressed. “And I went over to him and told him that I wanted it back, but he said that he’d give it to me… only if… I gave him my number. So… I did.” 

“Really,” Hyungwon repeats. Hoseok hates how he drags out the syllables with a perfect amount of sarcasm added in. “That’s how you met.” His phone buzzes, and he glances at the time and swears. “I have to go meet my advisor, she’s a bitch when I’m late, but before I go. Kihyun, when are you rejoining BFD?” BFD is the dance team that they’re all in. “We need new members.” 

“You were on BFD?” Hoseok asks, before realizing that he probably shouldn’t have. He doesn’t remember Hyungwon ever mentioning that his roommate was on BFD.

“I guess I forgot to tell you,” Kihyun says, smirking slightly. Hoseok glares at him. 

“Kihyun was on BFD our freshman year, before you joined,” Hyungwon says. “Just for a semester.” 

“Yeah, that never came up,” Hoseok says stiffly. 

Hyungwon checks the time again. “Damn, okay. I really have to go. Hoseok, we are _not_ done talking about this. Kihyun, I’ll see you in class.”

“What does he mean by seeing you in class?” Hoseok hisses through his teeth as Hyungwon leaves. 

“We’re both chem majors,” Kihyun says simply. 

“Oh my god.” 

“Also, about your little story,” Kihyun says. “Why wouldn’t you just go to the barista and show them your receipt to get your drink?”

Hoseok waves it away. “Details.” 

“So.” Kihyun says.

“So.” Hoseok says. “Are we really doing this?” He can see Jooheon’s face, incredulous, out of the corner of his eye. 

“I think so,” Kihyun says, leaning back and taking a sip out of his drink. “I think I’d be a pretty good pretend boyfriend.” 

_What an ass_ , Hoseok thinks. He rolls his eyes, pulling on his coat and gloves. “Come on, pretty good pretend boyfriend,” he says. “Let’s go.” 

“Where?”

“To the campus bookstore,” Hoseok says. “Couples go shopping together, right?”

“To the _campus bookstore_?”

“Come on,” Hoseok repeats, trying not to smile. When he turns around at the door, Kihyun’s catching up to him, the sun reflecting off the snow outside and lighting up his eyes. 

 

#

 

Hoseok finds out the hard way that apparently every single one of his friends knows who Kihyun is.

“He’s my chemistry tutor,” Changkyun says, lying on Hoseok’s bed on his back, playing Temple Run, even though that game was so three years ago. “He’s so smart. Compared to him I should just quit university and live on the streets.” 

“You wouldn’t last one day in the streets,” Minhyuk says, to which Changkyun merely shrugs. 

“Neither would you,” Hoseok points out. “I’m pretty sure that I would be the one to survive the longest.” 

“I would show you how wrong you are, but I wouldn’t want to disfigure Kihyun’s new boyfriend,” Minhyuk says, baring his teeth. Hoseok wishes he was still allowed to do that. “So I guess this means we’re going to more acapella concerts now?”

“Oh, I almost forgot to tell you guys,” Changkyun says. “Yoonho’s roommate Seokwon just joined Knight Music too.” Hoseok has never even heard of Knight Music before. This is turning out to be more complicated that he thought.

His phone buzzes with a text. When Hoseok looks down, he sees it’s from Kihyun. _lunch tomorrow?_ Unconsciously, he smiles. 

“Aw,” Minhyuk says. “Did you get a text from your boyfriend?” 

Hoseok ignores him and texts back, _yeah! my classes end at 1:30_. 

“Look at him, all happy and monogamous,” Changkyun says. “They grow up so fast.” He then assumes defense position as Hoseok launches himself at him, claws outstretched.

 

#

 

Unfortunately, Minhyuk’s rescue cat of the week gets in a skirmish with one of the bunnies early on a Saturday morning, and Hoseok barely manages to separate them in time. Neither are hurt, but Hoseok is reminded that when Minhyuk brought this cat back, he had wrapped him in Hoseok’s scarf, because that was the scarf he had on. Hoseok is never letting Minhyuk borrow his clothes again. 

“Peter swiped at Lemon,” Hoseok says, after putting the bunnies back into their cages and the cat upstairs. “I think we should take him to a shelter before Lemon and the Gang break out of their cages and go for him.” 

“We should get a dog,” Jooheon says, between bites of cereal. His hair is sticking up in every single direction possible. 

“We are not getting a dog,” Hoseok says. “Those bunnies will die if we get a dog. Especially an adult dog who’s never lived with a bunny before.” 

“But we could get a little puppy. A little golden retriever. And name him something cute. Like… Biscuit.” 

“We have four bunnies. Four. Bunnies. “

“But they could be the Gang,” Jooheon says stubbornly, staring off into space and spooning cereal into his mouth. “We could raise Biscuit with the bunnies and he will grow up to love them. And we could put up a sign that says ‘Beware of the Gang’. That would be cute.” 

“How are you not satisfied with four bunnies,” Hoseok asks, mostly to himself, sticking his head in the fridge and finding nothing but sliced cheese, orange juice, and some old lettuce. They really have to go grocery shopping. Hoseok will probably go today. Maybe he’ll ask Kihyun to go along. Or if they all get lazy, maybe they’ll just go to Local Burger to give Yoonho a good tip because god knows the boy deserves it. 

“Those bunnies hate me.” 

“Yeah, because you keep trying to pick them up,” Hoseok says, putting two slices of bread in the toaster. “You know they hate being picked up by a stranger, aka a person not me or Minhyuk.” 

“Well, Lemon is a bitch and so is Lime. They’re like the bitch sisters,” Jooheon says, glaring in the direction of the bunny cages. “Mozzarella is okay sometimes. Sprite is the nicest.” 

“Mozzie is a sweetheart and you know it,” Hoseok says, chewing on the plain toast, because they don’t have any condiments for him to put on it. “If you didn’t try to catch her by pulling on her ear that one time she’d probably like you more.” 

“They were running in every direction! I just grabbed the first thing I could reach.” 

“You’re lucky that it wasn’t her teeth,” Hoseok mutters, rinsing his plate and putting it in the dishwasher. “Hurry up, I’m going to run the dishwasher and then go grocery shopping.” 

“Can I come with you?” Jooheon asks, more awake than he was a second ago.

“Why,” Hoseok asks warily. “Don’t say that you’re going to beg me to go to the shelter. You know I’m weak to cute animals. Don’t do it.”

“I’m going to beg you to go to the shelter,” Jooheon says happily. “Let’s just go to see the puppies, please? Please?” 

“We can’t get a puppy,” Hoseok says. “Because the other day I filled out an application to adopt another bunny.” 

Jooheon stops to glare at him. “You did _what?_ ”

“I’m going to take Peter to the shelter today and pick up Pumpkin,” Hoseok says in one breath. “And why are you awake anyway?” Hoseok puts Jooheon’s orange juice cup in the sink and turns the water on. “It’s not even eleven in the morning.” 

“Hyungwon had Dasom over and I think she left but I fell asleep on the couch kinda early so I don’t know,” Jooheon says, immediately distracted. “Man, I miss having my own room.” 

“I didn’t know Dasom was over last night,” Hoseok says. “Either that or I really passed out after doing all those stats problems.” 

“Nerd,” Jooheon says, but there’s no bite in his voice. “I think Hyungwon went out and brought her back pretty late. You’ll have to ask Minhyuk, I think he was up. I was studying for Physics until I fell asleep so I have no idea what happened last night.” 

“I’m going to text Kihyun to see if he wants to go grocery shopping,” Hoseok says. “If he says no, you’re my backup.” 

“Oh yeah, didn’t you guys meet up a couple days ago?” Jooheon stands up and stretches, rubbing his eyes. “How did that go? Not that I believe you but still.” 

“Fine,” Hoseok says, ignoring the last part of his sentence. He rinses the rest of the dishes and loads them into the dishwasher, turning it on. “We only met up for lunch really quick, like half an hour. He thinks it’s weird that I don’t like pickles though.”

“Dude, it _is_ weird that you don’t like pickles.” 

“They’re gross and taste like snail... dead juice,” Hoseok insists, typing a text out to Kihyun. He’s probably not even awake this early. 

“Snail dead juice,” Jooheon repeats, and Hoseok chooses to ignore him. “Did you know that snail slime is actually great for your skin?” 

“You would know that,” Hoseok mumbles as he goes over to check the bunnies’ food dishes. They haven’t really been eating much of their pellets, and Hoseok blames it on Minhyuk giving them too many snacks and fruit. He takes their water bottles to refill and lets them all out in the x-pen. Lemon sniffs his hand before snuggling into it. Hoseok doesn’t understand how Jooheon doesn’t realize how cute and cuddly Lemon is. 

“You got a text from Kihyun,” Jooheon says, reading from Hoseok’s phone screen. “He says that he’s free.” Hoseok refills the bottles and puts them back on the cage. “Asked if you’re going to pick him up or if he should drive.” 

“Tell him to text me his address so I can pick him up,” Hoseok says. “In like twenty minutes.” Jooheon unlocks Hoseok’s phone and does so. “Wait, how do you know my lock screen pattern?”

Jooheon snorts. “The question should be, how does anyone not know your phone lock screen pattern. You always lock and unlock it when you’re not doing anything else with your hands.” 

“It’s hard not smoking anymore,” Hoseok says, rubbing his eyes but catching his phone when Jooheon tosses it to him. “I haven’t in over a year and I can’t start again now.” 

“Why did you quit again?” Jooheon asks. 

“Because Hyungwon said that I wouldn’t be able to do it, and I was mad at him for breaking our FWB arrangement, so I wanted to prove that there was something I could do. Thanks for bringing that up, by the way.” 

“Shit, sorry, I totally forgot,” Jooheon says, apologetic, but Hoseok just pats his hair down before going back upstairs to take a quick shower. 

By the time Hoseok pulls up to Kihyun’s apartment, it’s been almost forty minutes since he texted Kihyun. He feels kind of bad, but one of the bunnies had kicked over her litter box, and Hoseok didn’t want to leave Jooheon to clean it up by himself. Peter is in a small carrier in the backseat, mewling unhappily. Hoseok wishes they could keep him, but if he stayed, Lemon would probably bite his ear off. 

“Sorry I’m late,” Hoseok says, when Kihyun opens the car door on the passenger side. There’s snow on his beanie. “One of my bunnies threw a little tantrum and it got messy.” 

“You have bunnies?” Peter mewls again. “And a cat in the car?” 

Hoseok laughs, putting the car back in drive. “I have four bunnies. All the guys I live with help take care of them, but mostly they’re Minhyuk’s and mine. Peter is a cat that Minhyuk picked off the street and brought home, wrapped in my scarf.” 

“Why could he have just held the cat like a normal person?” Kihyun asks.

“In case the cat is sick or something,” Hoseok says. “You never know with strays. Peter was so skinny and unhappy looking that Minhyuk assumed that he wasn’t holding a big territory or anything.” 

“Minhyuk must bring home a lot of strays if you guys just have a spare pet carrier for these occasions,” Kihyun muses, as Peter scratches at the inside of the carrier. 

“Yeah, he really does,” Hoseok says. “I’m gonna drop him off really quick if that’s okay.” 

“Can I come?” Kihyun asks suddenly. “I’ve never been to an animal shelter.” 

“Okay,” Hoseok says. As they’re getting out of the car, he calls over, “Hey. Hey, Kihyun.” 

Kihyun looks up, his hair falling into his eyes.

“I know I said this the other day, but really, no pressure. If the pretend dating thing is weird, then just let me know. I don’t want you to feel pressured into doing something this stupid.” 

“I really think it sounds like fun,” Kihyun says amusedly. “Why, are you having second thoughts about walking up to a complete stranger and asking him to be your pretend boyfriend?”

“No… probably,” Hoseok says slowly, and Kihyun raises an eyebrow. Damn, Hoseok is really so jealous of people who can do that. “I really won’t get mad if you don’t want to.” 

“Hey, I’m just doing you a favor, right?” 

“Yeah,” Hoseok says, relieved. “So I owe you one. A big one. Plus you get to tell them that it was a prank with me. And Hyungwon and Jooheon hate being pranked.” 

“I know,” Kihyun says, somewhat devilishly, as they go into the animal shelter. Hoseok takes Peter out of the carrier, wrapped in Hoseok’s scarf and looking absolutely miserable. While he’s talking to the Bora, the shelter worker, he sees out of the corner of his eye that Kihyun is wandering around and looking at all the animals in their cages. 

“Would you like to donate to the shelter?” Bora asks, startling Hoseok.

“What? Oh, um, yes. Where is that on the form again?” 

“At the bottom,” and Hoseok hesitates before writing down $200. Hopefully Peter, or whatever his real name is, finds an actual home. He hates dropping animals off at the shelter. 

“Did I get cleared to adopt Pumpkin?” Hoseok asks, and she nods, leading him to the cages that Kihyun is squinting into. 

“Want to see my new bunny?” Hoseok asks. 

“You’re getting another one? But you have four already,” Kihyun says, but he’s already cooing at Pumpkin when Bora gives her to him to hold. 

“They’re all spayed females, so another spayed female will be fine. Or a bonded pair,” Hoseok says. “Whenever I come here I feel the need to adopt a pet. And I saw her the other day and just impulse filled out an application.” 

“You love animals so much, but you’re an accounting major?” Kihyun asks, stroking the top of Pumpkin’s head. She blinks slower and slower. 

“I could never work with animals,” Hoseok says. “I can’t euthanize them.” 

“I get it,” Kihyun says. Pumpkin sniffs him before snuggling closer to him, nose twitching. “I love her.” 

“You could take her,” Hoseok says, for some reason. Maybe he’s being a little too impulsive these days. He should talk to someone about that. “I can adopt her and if you prove to Minhyuk and me that you’re fit to own a pet, you can have her. We can keep her in one of our cages for the time being. We have an extra.”

“Wait, really?” 

Hoseok shrugs. “My bunnies don’t really need their cages anymore, only when Minhyuk brings home stray cats. They’re usually in their x-pen and they’re all house trained so they use litter boxes. And we have an extra cage because we got Lemon and Lime separately but they ended up bonding so they share a cage now.” 

“House bunnies,” Kihyun muses, scratching Pumpkin on the head. “I like this one. I’ve been holding her for a couple minutes and she’s so friendly and calm.”

Hoseok tries not to smile, but it’s hard because Kihyun can’t stop petting Pumpkin. 

“Are you sure about keeping her at your house?” Kihyun asks, slightly anxious. “I’ve never had a pet before, I don’t know if I can handle her.” 

“If you can’t, Minhyuk and I will keep her,” Hoseok says firmly. “Either way, Pumpkin is going to a new home.” 

Kihyun smiles, and Pumpkin sniffs his chin. They’re a good match, Hoseok thinks. Pumpkin might actually be their only bunny to not hate Jooheon. While Kihyun is putting Pumpkin in the carrier for the time being, Bora guides Hoseok through filling in the release form. He can never remember everything, no matter how many times he fills it out. 

“I trust you even though you suck at filling out forms,” Bora says, wrinkling her nose at him, and Hoseok gives her a grateful smile. “Take good care of her, she’s my favorite.” 

“We will,” Hoseok says, and waves as they leave. “We should probably go back and put her in one of the cage before doing anything else,” he says to Kihyun as he turns the engine on. “We can get her her own food bowl and water bottle while we’re out.” 

“How can you be so calm about adopting a pet?” Kihyun asks, mostly to himself, but it still makes Hoseok laugh. “What’s so funny?” 

“No, it’s just, I said the exact same thing to Minhyuk when we got Lemon,” Hoseok says. “Minhyuk’s had like a thousand pets, his parents had a lot of pets growing up so they always had animals in the house. I had fish when I was in elementary school and no pets after that.”

“Don’t you have four bunnies though?” 

“Yeah, we got Lemon first. Then Lime, but then she bonded with Lemon and they don’t like to be super social with us, just with each other. So then we got Sprite. But then Sprite got lonely because Lemon and Lime were always together, and we didn’t always have time to play with her. So then we got Mozzarella, and they all get along fine. We might have to get another bunny if Pumpkin bonds with Sprite or Mozzie though.”

“I mean, if you already have five bunnies, I don’t see anything wrong with getting a sixth,” Kihyun says. “And do you just pick your bunnies depending on if they’re named after a food?”

“Shh,” Hoseok says. “Bora can’t know we’re biased.” 

Kihyun laughs. “What did you have to fill out to adopt them? It’s not just that one form right?”

“No,” Hoseok says. “You need references and take pictures of your x-pen and cage and prove that you have a household income enough to support them.” 

“You have a job? I’m learning so much about my pretend boyfriend.” 

Hoseok laughs. “Yeah, I work at the campus library. I put the books back on the shelves.” 

“I know Jooheon is a barista, and Hyungwon works in that lab, but what’s everyone else?” Kihyun pokes a finger through the front of the carrier and lets Pumpkin sniff him. 

“Hyunwoo teaches hip hop classes three times a week at the rec center, and Minhyuk works in IT,” Hoseok says. “Last semester, Hyungwon couldn’t find anyone to sublet while he was gone, so he had to keep paying rent while he wasn’t even living there. Jooheon loved him so much.” 

“I would’ve too,” Kihyun agrees, as Hoseok parks the car. “Okay, Pumpkin, let’s go meet your new sisters.” 

Minhyuk is putting more hay in the cages when they walk in, his hair still messy from sleep. “Did you get another bunny?” he asks, excitement lighting up his eyes. “Let me see.” 

“She’s spayed, so no worries there,” Hoseok says. “Three years old.” 

“She’s so tiny,” Minhyuk says, cradling his arms so Pumpkin won’t fall. “I love her. I love her, I love her, I love her. Also hi Kihyun.” 

“I thought he wasn’t going to notice you at all,” Hoseok tells him, and Kihyun laughs. 

“Me too,” Kihyun says. “Hi, Minhyuk.” 

“I can’t believe you all got another bunny,” a disgruntled Hyunwoo says from the foot of the stairs. “But now that there are five people who live here and five bunnies, we can all pick our favorite and have races.” 

“I think that’s illegal,” Minhyuk points out, putting Pumpkin into Lemon and Lime’s cage, because it’s the biggest. 

“Only if we bet on it,” Hyunwoo says, but cowers when Minhyuk swats him with a rolled up magazine. “I’m kidding! You know I’m kidding.” 

“Either way, I call the nicest one,” Jooheon says, coming down the stairs. “Where are the groceries?” 

“We haven’t gone grocery shopping yet,” Hoseok says. “We’re going to go do that now. But someone else give me their credit or debit card because I just donated $200 to the shelter that Bora works at.” 

“It’s Hyunwoo’s week to pay for groceries,” Minhyuk says happily as he watches Pumpkin hop around in the unfamiliar cage. Hyunwoo groans but gives Hoseok his debit card and writes down his pin number on a post-it note. 

“I’ll buy all of your favorite stuff,” Hoseok promises, and Hyunwoo half heartedly blows him a kiss. 

“Will you really?” Kihyun asks, and Hoseok shrugs. 

“Probably, I don’t know. I honestly don’t remember if he’s lactose intolerant or not, but I’m pretty sure it’s either him or Hyungwon. Or maybe neither.” Hoseok shivers when they get back outside and the cold hits him.

“Here,” Kihyun says, unwinding his scarf and wrapping it around Hoseok’s neck. “You need it more than me.” 

“I—um. Thank you?” Hoseok manages, and it’s not because his teeth are chattering. Because they’re not anymore, thanks to Kihyun’s super insulated and warm scarf. Kihyun offers him a smile, and Hoseok feels somewhat at shaky when they’re back on the road. They hit patches of ice every once in awhile, but Hoseok uses them as an excuse to himself for his heart jumping irregularly every time he looks out of the corner to see Kihyun, humming along to whatever’s playing on the radio. 

 

#

 

Yoonho almost spills their waters about six times before making it to their table. He apologizes about a million times, but Hoseok pats his arm to let him know that they’re not mad. 

“I’m so sorry,” Yoonho mumbles again. “Do you want to order now or do you need more time?” 

“I can order now,” Kihyun says, and Hoseok glances at the menu briefly before nodding. “Just a normal cheeseburger for me. With caramelized onions. Sweet potato fries instead of normal fries please.” 

Yoonho turns to Hoseok expectantly. 

“A vegetarian burger,” Hoseok says, “with… everything on it except pickles. And normal fries are fine” 

“Okay, I’ll take your menus,” Yoonho says, flashing them both a smile before walking away. 

“Ah yes,” Kihyun says. “The pickle hater.” 

“Whatever you say, I will still think they taste gross and slimy,” Hoseok says firmly, and Kihyun just rolls his eyes. “Anyway, tell me about yourself.” 

“About myself?” 

“Well yeah,” Hoseok says, fidgeting with the straw wrapper in front of him. He really needs to get something that his hands can toss around without drawing too much attention to himself. “If we’re going to do this pretend dating thing then I need to know at least the basic facts.” 

“Okay,” Kihyun says. “Fine.” And he talks. 

Kihyun likes to sing. A lot. He’s been in all of his school choirs since elementary school and he joined Knight Music before auditioning for BFD, and didn’t realize that he would make both. He thinks his dimples are cute. He plays the guitar, and he has a poster of Howl’s Moving Castle in his room. 

“A poster of Howl’s Moving Castle?” 

“Oh, shut up. It’s a good movie,” Kihyun says, as Yoonho puts their food down in front of them. Hoseok hesitates before plucking a sweet potato fry from Kihyun’s plate. “Good soundtrack.” 

“Okay, keep going,” Hoseok says. “Like… what’s your biggest pet peeve?”

“People taking my food.” 

Hoseok chokes for a second before he realizes that Kihyun is laughing. “I can’t believe how mean you are,” he forces out between coughs.

“I don’t really have any pet peeves,” Kihyun says, when he’s mostly done with laughing. “I’m pretty laid back, I think.” 

“Are you still thinking of auditioning for BFD?” Hoseok asks, as Kihyun nibbles on one of Hoseok’s fries. 

“I don’t know,” Kihyun says. “Probably? You guys hold auditions so late into the semester.” 

“Yeah, to prevent people who just go to everything from auditioning. Plus, Hyunwoo can be kind of mean so it’s probably for the best.” 

“Hyunwoo? Mean? Really? I don’t remember this.” 

“He looks all nice and brotherly and whatever but once last semester Yoonho and Changkyun were late for practice by like five minutes and Hyunwoo really laid it on them,” Hoseok says. “Minhyuk and I hid behind Jooheon until it was all over. It was a really scary day. And then afterwards we went home and he asked me to make him an ice cream sundae.” 

“Did you make him a special ice cream sundae?” 

“What?”

“You know, like put in chopped garlic instead of walnuts or something like that. Or the classic salt instead of sugar trick.” Kihyun smiles, kind of evilly, looking off into the distance.

“You are so obsessed with switching the salt and sugar, I can’t trust you anymore.” 

Talking to Kihyun is easy. Even though they started off asking each other questions on the sheet, it naturally veers off topic, and Hoseok finds himself enjoying himself, as Kihyun tells him about the one locker during eighth grade that everyone refused to open because of a rumor that there was a dead squirrel inside and if you opened it, the squirrel would haunt you.

“Oh,” Kihyun says, pausing. “I um, I ate all your fries.” 

“Well I mean, I ate all of yours, so.” They look at each other for a second before bursting into laughter.

“I like you,” Kihyun says, while Hoseok is still trying to catch his breath. “I think this pretend boyfriend thing is going to be fun.” 

“Oh, about that,” Hoseok says. “We’re going to have to be more convincing. Jooheon keeps asking why I never hang out with you and why I’m always shut up in my room.” 

“Well, I can’t help jumpstart your social life, but okay.” 

Hoseok huffs. “I mean we need to be more couple-y. Hold my hand right now.” 

“Dude, we hold hands like all the time,” Kihyun says, but he puts his hand over Hoseoks on the table. “It's weird to do it like this though.”

“Okay, you have got to stop calling me ‘dude’, it’s so, you know, _unromantic_ ,” Hoseok sniffs.

“Fine,” Kihyun says, picking up Hoseok hand and kissing it, making a face afterwards. “Is that better?” 

“Please don’t make that face, that’s the face Jooheon makes when he accidentally touches drain hair.” 

“I’m having a hard enough time holding your hand because you’re wearing the most unflattering pair of joggers I’ve ever seen in my life,” Kihyun says, but he still keeps Hoseok’s hand in between his two. 

“Hey, don’t diss the joggers. Joggers are love. Joggers are life. If you don’t know that, then you haven’t understood anything yet.” 

“You don’t like pickles, so I can’t accept life lessons from you.” 

“You’re a terrible human being and I should never have picked such a person to be my pretend boyfriend,” Hoseok says, but Kihyun squeezes his hand tighter and kisses it again, this time without making a face.

“Stop lying,” Kihyun says, the corners of his lips quirking up as Hoseok reminds himself that he needs to breathe. “You adore me.”

They rock, paper, scissor for who has to pay, and even though Hoseok loses, signing his name on the receipt doesn’t fill him with sadness of impending bankruptcy like it usually does. 

 

#

 

Hyunwoo forces them to hold a couple BFD practices to prepare for auditions, because they always perform old routines for the auditionees. They’re all trekking to the parking lot after practice when, out of nowhere, a snowball comes whizzing and hits the back of Hoseok’s head. He shrieks, extremely embarrassingly, as snow crawls down his coat. 

“Got him,” Yoonho yells, and Changkyun cheers, already balling another clump of snow.

“You guys said you were going back to your dorms,” Minhyuk yells but he already has a snowball ready to go.

“But isn’t this more fun?” Changkyun asks, dodging Hyungwon’s snowball and chucking one at Hyunwoo. 

“It’s five against two,” Hyungwon yells back. “You guys don’t stand a chance.” He splutters when a snowball hits him on the forehead, coating his entire face with snow. 

“Three against five,” Kihyun yells, ducking so that Hyunwoo’s snowball sails harmlessly over his head. “Now we’re going to crush you.” 

“Traiter,” Hoseok yells, and Kihyun laughs. He’s the type of person who laughs with his entire body, lighting up his face and making his eyes shine. Hyungwon takes the opportunity to slam one into Kihyun.

“Sorry about your boyfriend, Hoseok,” Hyungwon says, but Hoseok is busy trying to hit Kihyun himself. 

“Shit,” Hyunwoo yells, when Changkyun gets him in the neck. “When did you all get so good at aiming?”

“Dance isn’t all I do,” Changkyun says gleefully. “I also watch baseball anime.” 

“We _know_!” Minhyuk yells back, but Yoonho gets him in the neck too. Minhyuk jumps around, trying to get the snow off of him, but only succeeds in shaking it down the inside of his clothes. “If I get pneumonia and die, I blame you.” 

Hoseok laughs and is caught off guard when a snowball hits him in the face. He trips over his shoes—it’s really not his fault, snowboots are very bulky—and falls flat in the snow. He accidentally breathes when his face is buried in snow, and inhales it up his nose. 

“Hoseok!” Kihyun yells. Hoseok coughs, because there’s ice in his nose and mouth and eyes and it _hurts_. His eyes water and it feels like he’s lost the ability to breathe. It burns kind of like when he accidentally breathes water up his nose, but a hundred times colder. 

“What the fuck, are you _crying_ ,” Jooheon asks, disgust evident in his voice, but he’s kneeling down to make sure Hoseok is okay. 

“Hoseok,” Kihyun says, suddenly next to him. Hoseok could have sworn he was at least 20 feet away. He pulls Hoseok up and inspects his face. “Are you hurt?” His hands are so warm on Hoseok’s cheek that it burns when he’s brushing off the leftover snow. Hoseok didn’t even see Kihyun taking off his gloves. 

Hoseok laughs, but his laugh quickly turns into a cough. There’s ice on the inside of his throat. “Were you really worried?”

“Fuck you,” Kihyun says, but he’s smiling, his hand still on Hoseok’s cheek. “I should throw another snowball in your face.” 

“You were so worried,” Hoseok exclaims. “You were so, so wo— Hey!” Changkyun stuffs snow down the front of Hoseok’s jacket and runs away. 

“You deserved it,” Kihyun says, but stays to help Hoseok back up. Just when Hoseok thinks that this is a little too sickeningly sweet, Kihyun grabs another handful of snow and stuffs it down the back of Hoseok’s jacket and runs away. 

“Destroy them,” Hoseok says. Minhyuk and Hyungwon cheer and run to pelt the other team with more snowballs, Hyunwoo and Jooheon playing defense, but Hoseok can’t stop looking at Kihyun, flat on the snow for protection and still pelting snowballs. His beanie’s on the ground somewhere near him, and there’s snow in his hair. 

“Hoseok, help!” Minhyuk yells, snapping Hoseok back into reality. 

“Coming,” Hoseok calls, balling a handful of snow. He misses Kihyun, but hits Yoonho square in the leg. It slows him down enough for Hyungwon to tackle him. Minhyuk tackles Kihyun, and then they’re all on the ground, snow covering every inch of them. But when Hoseok turns his head, Kihyun’s lying on his back, breathing hard, snow all over his jacket. He sees Hoseok looking at him, and smiles. 

“Truce?” he asks. 

“Yeah,” Hoseok says, warmth seeping into his stomach. He takes a deep breath, the cold air cutting into his lungs, but his heart ignores the rest of his body and beats faster. “Truce.” 

 

#

 

“Why are you smiling at your phone?” Minhyuk asks suspiciously. “Why are you so happy, didn’t you have an exam today?” 

“Shh, we don’t talk about that here,” Hoseok says, putting his phone in his pocket and resuming untying the laces to his winter boots. 

“So many people came,” Changkyun observes, and when Hoseok looks up, he sees that the practice room is almost full of people who want to try out. What he doesn’t see, though, is Kihyun. 

“He’s going to be late if he doesn’t come soon,” Hoseok says, mostly to himself, frowning. 

“Please stop talking about your boyfriend,” Changkyun says, rolling his eyes. 

“That’s the first thing I’ve said about him today that you’ve heard!”

“Yeah, and I’m already tired of it.” Hoseok would have flicked him on the forehead, but Kihyun walks in and looks around the room, looking for someone. 

“There he is, your dream boy,” Minhyuk says, somewhat sarcastically. “Although I always imagined you to end up with someone taller.”

“I think I’m tall enough for the both of us,” Hoseok says defensively, as Kihyun makes his way through everyone auditioning. 

“Stop lying,” Minhyuk says, but before he can say anything else, Kihyun kisses Hoseok’s cheek, effectively ending any conversation Hoseok was having with Minhyuk. 

“Hi, you,” Kihyun says, an arm around Hoseok’s waist and resting his head on Hoseok’s shoulder. “How was your exam today?”

“It was okay,” Hoseok says. “I missed you though.” Kihyun’s face relaxes into an easy smile. 

“Seokwon told me that Yoonho told him to tell me that he was going to be a little late today because he needs to meet up with his food science project group. They’re planning to bake something or whatever,” Kihyun says, as Hyunwoo finishes connecting his laptop to the sound system. “He said he’d be here 20 minutes at the latest.” 

“That’s fine,” Hoseok says. “Hyunwoo talks for forever because he never glosses over the fact that he founded this dance group.” 

Kihyun opens his mouth like he’s going to reply, but Hyunwoo stands up and starts to shush everyone so he can talk. Kihyun lets his head rest on Hoseok’s shoulder, and it takes all the inner strength Hoseok possesses to not move and look at Kihyun’s face. Hyunwoo goes on and on about auditions, practices, performances, competitions, and a whole bunch of other stuff Hoseok tunes out. 

“We’re going to show you our routine that we performed at the University Winter Talent Show last semester,” Hyunwoo says, and Hoseok bends down to tie his shoes again. “This was while one of our members, Hyungwon, was studying abroad, so he’s not in the routine.” 

“Where’s Yoonho,” Jooheon hisses. “We can’t do this routine without him.” 

“Technically, we can do anything without him,” Minhyuk says, pulling his hoodie off and picking up his BFD snapback. “We would just look dumb.” 

“We already look dumb,” Hoseok says, putting on his own snapback. “Our team name is BFD.” 

“Yeah, ‘cause we’ve got big fucking dicks,” Minhyuk says, and then high fives Changkyun like that joke is still funny. 

Hyunwoo hears this and sighs. “I told you guys that it stands for Big Fucking Deal, like six thousand times. Let me live in peace.” 

“Nah,” Minhyuk says, blowing him a kiss, as Yoonho runs through the doors, hair flying and coat unzipped.

“Here,” Yoonho pants. “Yoonho is here. Yoonho is late. Yoonho is sorry. Yoonho is dumb because he did not realize how far the rec center is from everything else.” 

“Yoonho is going to change his shoes and take off his coat and take his place in the formation,” Jooheon says. “Quickly.” But he ruffles Yoonho’s hair, so he’s not really mad.

Yoonho does so, and they line up, all of them, and quickly introduce themselves. When Hyunwoo nods to one of the new kids who showed up, he starts the music. Hoseok follows the music with his body, letting his muscles do the thinking. They only had time to run it through a couple times since getting back from break, so they’re all relying mostly on memory. Towards the end, Hoseok has a part where he looks out the audience to acknowledge them, but when he does, he immediately sees Kihyun. Kihyun offers a smile, and Hoseok almost trips over his feet. Very graceful, he thinks bitterly to himself, but that’s all he has time for before throwing himself back into the routine.

“Nice save,” Hyungwon says to him, when Hoseok is re-tying the laces to his converse. He thinks that he might have a nervous habit.

“Damn,” Hoseok says. “You saw?” 

“The entire world and whoever’s on the International Space Station saw,” Jooheon says, and Hoseok whacks him with a towel. 

“It wasn’t that bad,” Hyungwon insists. “It was, you know, a planned stumble.” 

“Do you think if we have a lot of good people try out we could kick Hoseok out?” Changkyun asks, eagerly.

“Shut up, kid, you’ve only been here for a semester,” Hoseok says crankily. 

“This next routine is the one that we won the University Spring Talent Competition with last year,” Hyunwoo says, loudly, to drown out the rest of them. Hoseok bends down to tie his other shoe. “Every year, the winner of the competition is the opening performance for the Spring Concert. This was before Yoonho and Changkyun joined the team, when we had five members.” 

This time, Hoseok doesn’t stumble, and Hyungwon doesn’t fall when he flips. They get more applause when they’re done, and they bow before letting Hyunwoo talk again. 

“We’re going to get tryouts started now,” Hyunwoo is saying to everyone else. Can everyone count off by…” he turns around and does a quick head count to double check that everyone is present, “sevens?” After everyone does, Hyunwoo says, “Okay, one’s with Minhyuk,” Minhyuk raises his hand. “Two’s with Yoonho, three’s with Jooheon, four’s with Hoseok, five’s with Changkyun, six’s with Hyungwon, seven’s with me.” Everyone disperses, and Hoseok smiles at the people who crowd in front him. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see that Kihyun is a seven, so he’s with Hyunwoo. 

“Okay,” Hoseok says. “We’re just going to do some basic choreography, nothing serious. Ask me any questions if you have any! No pressure or anything, just have fun.” 

After about thirty minutes, Hoseok leads his group over to safety pin a number to their back and write down their contact information on a sheet. 

“Write the number on your back next to your name,” Hoseok says. “So if we want you to join, we’ll be able to contact you.” 

“When will you get back to us?” one of the auditionees ask. 

“Probably within a week,” Hoseok says. “We’ll post it on our Facebook page too, so everyone will know when we’ve decided.” 

When Hyunwoo shepherds them all back into big group, the seven of them sit and watch as people go up in groups to perform. Hoseok thinks inwardly that there isn’t really anyone who stands out from the rest. Towards the end, Hoseok spots one guy who dances pretty well, so he writes down his number, 46. 

Kihyun is number 55, and when his group, the last group, starts, Hoseok doesn’t know why Hyunwoo ever let Kihyun quit. He’s definitely not as good as Hyunwoo or maybe Hoseok himself, but his movements are fluid and he’s almost certainly better than everyone else. 

Hyungwon peeks at his paper, and when he sees that Hoseok wrote down 55 into the “Caught My Eye” column, he draws a rectangle around it and stars the corners. Hoseok looks up and gives him a smile. When Hyungwon turns his head, Hoseok can see a hickey peeking out of Hyungwon’s shirt collar, and suppresses the urge to roll his eyes. Hyungwon hates when people leave marks. He probably gave Dasom, or whoever it was, shit for that.

“Thanks for coming out everyone,” Hyunwoo says and everyone joins the polite applause before picking up their coats and filing out the door. 

“You were good,” Hoseok says, as Kihyun picks up his coat and shrugs it on. “Like, really good. I wish you hadn’t quit.” 

“Everyone wishes he hadn’t quit,” Hyunwoo mutters, as he’s collecting all the papers and putting them in a folder. “At least he’s returning to us.” 

“No discussing new members in front of non members,” Jooheon yells, clamping a towel over Kihyun’s ears, and Kihyun laughs and tries to whack Jooheon’s arm with the towel. 

“I’m trespassing on sacred ground,” Kihyun says. “I must leave before I’m struck down for my sins.” 

Hoseok wraps his arms around Kihyun and holds on. “You can’t go anywhere if I’m holding you here!” he teases, and Minhyuk makes retching noises behind Changkyun and Yoonho, whose faces are red from laughing. 

“That was disgusting,” Minhyuk says. when he’s done. “I can’t believe we live in the same house. I can’t believe we have _bunnies_ together.” 

“The house was your idea,” Hyunwoo reminds him. “You were all, we should get a house together and so we can always be together and also throw parties!, and we went along with it and here we are.” 

“I’ve never heard Hyunwoo imitate Minhyuk before,” Hyungwon comments. “I think I could go the rest of my life without hearing it again.” 

Hyunwoo shrugs. “Who drove today?” 

“I did,” Hoseok says. 

“I did too,” Jooheon says. 

“Do you need a ride back to your apartment?” Hoseok asks, and Kihyun shakes his head. 

“I’m parked in the Rec Center parking lot,” Kihyun says. “You?”

“Me too,” Hoseok says. “It’s the closest one to here, so I mean.” 

“I’m in the Studio Arts parking lot,” Jooheon whines. “That’s far.” 

“If you come with me to my car I can drive you to yours,” Kihyun offers. “It’s too cold to be walking that far.” 

Jooheon perks up instantly. “Okay, sounds good.” 

“I’ll come with you Jooheon,” Shownu says, as Changkyun and Yoonho wave before leaving to brace the cold to go back to their dorms. “I left my backpack in your car anyway.” 

Once they’re outside, Kihyun pulls up Hoseok’s hood before his own. “Where are your gloves?” he asks, frowning slightly. 

“In my pockets,” Hoseok says, reaching into them. “Never mind, not in my pockets. I probably forgot them on my desk. Again.” 

Kihyun pulls off one of his own gloves and gives it to Hoseok. “Put that on,” he says, reaching for Hoseok’s bare hand and putting it in his pocket with his bare hand. They’re not holding hands, but it looks like they are, and Hoseok thinks he might have blushed a little. Of course, no one saw, so it might as well has never happened. 

“Thanks,” Hoseok says, and Kihyun smiles. They walk like this for a couple minutes, listening to Minhyuk chatter on to Hyungwon about whatever it is that he’s into these days. When they’re far enough ahead of them, Hoseok makes to pull his hand out of Kihyun’s pocket. 

“What are you doing?”

“Oh, um,” Hoseok says. “You don’t have to. I mean, no one can see us.” 

“Are you saying that I’m a bad pretend boyfriend?” Kihyun teases, but he sounds a little disappointed. 

“No! No. You’re like, a perfect pretend boyfriend,” Hoseok says quickly. “You do everything right and I just kinda sit here.” 

“Does anyone know that this is pretend?” Kihyun asks, fiddling with his coat zipper to get it to go higher. “I kinda got the feeling that Hyunwoo does.”

“I’ve gotten up in the morning, thrown up in the bathroom for 20 minutes, and walked back to my room, all while Hyunwoo was shaving at the sink right next to me, and he didn’t even bat an eyelash,” Hoseok says. “As long as we’re alive I don’t think he really pays that much attention.” 

“Wow, you guys must go really hard on weekends.” 

Hoseok laughs. “No, not really, but we always throw down at the beginning of the semester and also birthdays. We would’ve thrown Changkyun and Hyungwon a joint party for their birthday, but we were all too busy with school stuff, so we’re probably going to hold off celebrating theirs and my birthday for a while.” Hoseok shivers, and Kihyun fidgets around in his pocket before holding Hoseok’s hand for real. 

“Are you free this weekend?” Kihyun asks. “Sunday? Hungover brunch, you and me?”

“I don’t know if you want to see me hungover,” Hoseok says, 100% serious. “I’m even whinier than usual.” 

“I think I can deal with it just fine,” Kihyun says. “As long as you don’t try to strangle me.” 

“Okay,” Hoseok says. “Okay, fine. I don’t think I’m going to hungover though. Maybe a little bit, depending on if everyone else wants to drink.” 

“Then we’ll have just brunch. We can have our hungover brunch another time.” 

“Aw,” Minhyuk says. “Together. Brunch. Brunch together.” 

“Shut the fuck up,” Hoseok grumbles, but doesn’t move away from Kihyun. 

When they get to the Rec Center parking lot, Kihyun pecks Hoseok on the cheek before waving, walking to his car with Jooheon and Hyunwoo. It’s only after he’s almost back to their house that Hoseok realizes that he’s still wearing Kihyun’s glove on his hand, a part of his face warmer than the rest. 

 

#

 

“Why did you try out for BFD?” Kihyun asks. He’s laying on his stomach on Hoseok’s bed, flipping through his massive textbook. Hoseok clicks his mouse in frustration as Excel freezes on his laptop. For the third time in the past two hours.

“I met Minhyuk because we lived on the same floor,” Hoseok says. “He wouldn’t shut up, like, ever. So one night towards the end of October, I was trying to sleep because I had an eight a.m. class, but he wouldn’t stop blasting music in the lounge. So I got out of bed and told him to stop. Apparently I looked really fucking scary, because the next day he got me a box of chocolates as an apology. And now I can’t get rid of him.” 

Kihyun laughs. “Well, at least you got chocolates. Did he get you to join BFD?” 

“I went to the tryouts second semester freshman year,” Hoseok said. “I mean, Minhyuk did threaten to light my backpack on fire if I didn’t, and I wasn’t completely sure if he was kidding or not, so that had something to do with it too.” 

“And that’s where you met Hyungwon?” 

“No, my roommate back then, Kwangji, was rushing this frat and he begged me to go to this party with him. And I’m really bad at saying no so I said yes. I met Hyungwon there.” 

“Wait, that party at the Pi house, the first weekend of freshman year?” 

“Yeah, why?” 

“I was at that party. Hyungwon knew one of the bros from high school so he dragged me with him.” 

Hoseok groans. “Please tell me you don’t remember anything about me.” 

Kihyun laughs, sitting up. “I mean, I remember Hyungwon sticking his tongue down some guy’s throat, but I never saw his face. Actually, Hyungwon never actually brought anyone over to our room all of freshman year.”

“Yeah, when Kwangji was pledging he would always be at one of his bro’s apartments or the house, so Hyungwon came over.” Hoseok leans back in his chair. “Disaster averted, barely.” 

“Who would’ve thought I would end up pretend dating my ex-roommate’s ex-FWB,” Kihyun says, laughing, unwrapping one of the little candy bars Hoseok has on his desk, sticking it in his mouth. “Fate works in weird ways, you know. Like I can’t believe you still auditioned for BFD if you knew that Hyungwon was in it.” 

Hoseok coughs. “I didn’t. He wasn’t there on the day of auditions and no one ever mentioned his name, Hyunwoo was just like, ‘we’re missing one person’. And when I got added to the GroupMe, the first person to say hi to me was Hyungwon.” 

“What an ass.” 

“I _know_.” 

Kihyun laughs. “I mean it all worked out. He got over it. You got over it, probably.” 

Hoseok sighs as he’s forced to reboot his laptop. “Who do you live with again?” he asks, to change the subject.

“What?”

“Like your roommate. How did you meet your roommate?” 

“Jeonghan was in my freshman writing class, and we were forced to do this presentation together.” Kihyun flops back down on the bed. “We didn’t really talk but two other guys from my acapella group and I wanted to get an apartment, and we needed another person. And Jeonghan just happened to be looking for an apartment too. That’s it.” 

“Yeah, I hated living on campus,” Hoseok says, tapping his fingers on his desk as his laptop powers up again. “We got lucky by getting this house so cheaply. And plus the basement isn't finished so when we throw parties we keep it down there. Makes it easier for the bunnies, too.” 

“I love Pumpkin,” Kihyun says, sleepily. 

Hoseok nudges Kihyun’s side with his foot. “Move, I miss my bed.” Kihyun rolls over so that there’s some space for Hoseok on the tiny twin bed. Hoseok looks at it sadly. He would get a bigger bed, but his room is cramped enough as it is. He flops down and groans. Kihyun pats his arm gently.

“I’m going to drown in this mountain of homework soon,” Hoseok announces, accidentally hitting his head on Kihyun’s chemistry textbook. “And now I have a concussion.” 

“Don’t worry, I hit my head on that thing at least like five times a day,” Kihyun says, cheerfully. He turns slightly so that Hoseok’s arm is under his head, and they’re somewhat facing each other. Hoseok tries not to stiffen up, but it’s hard not to. For a second, Hoseok thinks that Kihyun is going to kiss him. They both pause for a second, and Hoseok thinks that if Kihyun doesn’t kiss him then he’ll have to do it himself. Kihyun’s eyes flutter shut, and Hoseok thinks to himself, this is it, this is their first kiss. 

But neither of them move, frozen in place. Hoseok thinks about what it would feel like to finish kissing him, the ghost of Kihyun’s lips still on his. Kihyun’s hand on the back of his neck, pulling him closer, magnetic. Kihyun’s cheek touching the tips of his eyelashes, feather light, bearing the weight of the whole world. Kihyun—

“You’re good company,” Kihyun says, and just like that, the moment’s over. “Even though you think that blue is the new black. Nothing is the new black. Except black. Black is the new black.” 

“A nice navy never hurt anyone,” Hoseok says defensively, and when Kihyun regards him unamusedly, Hoseok crosses his eyes and puckers his lips at the same time. Kihyun laughs, and Hoseok wishes that he could validate what makes his heart swell so much that he can feel it pressing against his ribcage, calling for more. 

 

#

 

They have two new additions to BFD for the spring semester. Kihyun is one, and the other is a freshman that Changkyun immediately feels a competitiveness with. 

“So, do you think I’m a better dancer than Minkyun?” Changkyun asks, as Hoseok tries to eat his soup and read with his textbook on top of his bowl at the same time. Changkyun had been nice enough to swipe all of them into the dining hall with his magic student ID that has an unlimited meal plan.

“Hm?”

“Minkyun. Dance. Me. Better. Right?” 

“Will you stop,” Minhyuk grouches, shifting his plate so he can keep dozing off comfortably. “This is as bad as Hoseok and his newfound romance.”

“Thanks for reminding me why we’re not friends,” Hoseok say flatly. “Please, continue on with your day.”

“So how’s that going?” Changkyun asks, immediately distracted. Jooheon looks up from his sandwich at this, a bit of mayo on his lip. Minhyuk throws napkins at him until he gets the hint. 

“What’s what going?” Hoseok asks, feigning disinterest, turning a page in his textbook and spooning soup to his mouth. So far, he hasn’t spilled anything, and he’s quite proud of himself. 

“I’m so proud of Hoseok for recovering from the ass whooping that was the end of the Hyungwon and Hoseok fiasco,” Minhyuk says, and Hoseok hopes he never has to listen to Minhyuk say the words ‘ass whooping’ ever again.

“I mean, I guess it was kinda bad. He ended it with ‘I hope we can still be friends’, so yeah, I kind of feel bad,” Jooheon says. Hoseok’s about to open his mouth because _how the_ fuck _does he know that?_ , but he gets cut off.

“What are we talking about here?” Yoonho asks, pulling up a chair to the already crowded table. Hyunwoo and Hyungwon are with him. “Have you guys all added Minkyun and Kihyun on Facebook? I think someone already added them to the GroupMe.”

“Do you think Minkyun is a better dancer than me?” Changkyun asks immediately. Hyunwoo ignores him deliberately, but Hyungwon takes a second to pat the hair on Changkyun’s head down before leaving to get food. 

“I don’t understand why you feel so threatened by Minkyun but not Yoonho,” Minhyuk muses, picking at his pasta. 

“Yoonho and I joined together, but Minkyun is like this new force that we’re dealing with,” Changkyun says, like that makes perfect sense. “A new threat.”

“Yeah okay,” Jooheon says, chewing on an ice cube. “Whatever you say.”

“We should throw a party,” Minhyuk says, as soon as they’re all sitting down. Hyungwon has a cup of popcorn in front of him and is tossing kernels of it across the table into Jooheon’s mouth. Hoseok groans, regretting not bringing his throw blanket to his classes today. Everyone else blatantly pretends not to hear. It’s been a long week. 

“I mean it!” Minhyuk insists. “Not like a banger, just us and Minkyun and Kihyun. Like a BFD bonding night.” 

Hyunwoo looks up from his grossly healthy looking salad. “I’m listening.” 

Encouraged, Minhyuk continues, “Kihyun was in BFD before but Minkyun’s completely new, and he’s a freshman so he’s probably like, really nervous about BFD, you know? And we could like, help him adjust to college, and stuff. Also we could have Changkyun’s and Hyungwon’s birthday celebration, but eh.” 

“Are you suggesting that we haze him,” Hoseok mutters, as Changkyun and Hyungwon glare at Minhyuk together. 

Minhyuk puts a hand on his chest and rearranges his face to an expression of offense. “How dare you suggest we take part in such crude activities!” Hoseok side eyes him. “I meant, I think it would be nice if we hosted a little get together with just us. Nothing out of hand.” 

“I don’t think it’s a bad idea,” Hyunwoo says after a minute or so. “Anyone else?” 

Before anyone can respond, Hoseok’s phone goes off, thankfully on vibrate. Changkyun peers over Hoseok’s shoulder and announces, “Kihyun’s calling.” 

“Ooh, his boothang,” Minhyuk says, and Hoseok makes a mental note to himself to give Minhyuk a list of words and phrases he’s banned from saying. It would be a nice birthday gift.

“Hi,” Hoseok says. “What’s up?”

“Hoseok!” Kihyun yells, loudly enough that Hoseok jerks his head away from his phone. “I’m so glad you answered.” 

“Where are you?” Hoseok asks. There’s music blaring in the background, and lots of voices. Hoseok checks Changkyun’s watch to see that it’s only 8 p.m. “Are you drunk?”

“Very,” Kihyun says. “Very, very drunk. So drunk. I don’t remember how I got here drunk. I’m so drunk. And tired. I miss my bed. Can you take me home?” 

“Yeah,” Hoseok says. “Where are you? Text me where you are stay there, I’ll come get you.” 

“I’m at the one of Seokwon’s friends’ house,” Kihyun says. “I don’t know where it is.” 

“Can you find Seokwon?” Hoseok asks. “Kihyun, can you stand?”

“There’s Seokwon! I found him. I’m going to give him the phone now,” Kihyun says. Then, “Ow! I hit something. I want to sit down.” 

“Don’t go anywhere, okay? Kihyun?” 

“Hello?”

“Hello?”

“Is this Hoseok?”

“Yes, who’s this?” 

“This is Seokwon.” 

Hoseok lets out a sigh of relief. “Hi Seokwon, can you text me on Kihyun’s phone the address of the house you’re at? I’m going to come pick him up.” 

“Yeah, sure. He’s fine, don’t worry about him. I’ll keep an eye on him until you get here.” There’s a rustle and another bang, followed by another “Ow!” from Kihyun. 

“How come you’re sober and he’s drunk at 8 p.m?” Hoseok asks, genuinely curious. 

“We had practice earlier and at Friday practices, every time your voice cracks you take a shot. Kihyun’s voice cracked like ten times. And then some.” 

Hoseok winces. “Keep a trash can in front of him, I’ll be right there.” Not even a minute after he hangs up, he gets the text with the address in it. 

“Going to save boothang?” Minhyuk asks, smirking, and Hoseok gives him a look of long suffering before picking up his bag. 

“I’ll see you guys later,” Hoseok says. “There’s enough seats for everyone to go back home, right?” 

“Yeah, I’ll take them all,” Hyungwon says. 

“Say hi to Seokwon for me!” Yoonho chirps, as Hoseok is leaving. 

When Hoseok pulls up in the driveway, the strobe light in the living room is lighting up the entire neighborhood. Hoseok never knew how wild acapella singers were until now. 

“Who’s this?” A voice yells, when Hoseok knocks on the front door. He’s impressed anyone even heard the knock at all.

“Hi, I’m Hoseok, I’m here to pick Kihyun up,” Hoseok says, and the door opens to reveal Seokwon. 

“Hoseok! You came!” 

“Hey Seokwon,” Hoseok says, smiling. “Yoonho says hi.” 

“I love my roommate,” Seokwon says, accidentally tripping over a chair. “Kihyun’s in the kitchen, let me take you to him.” 

Kihyun’s lying flat on his back on the floor, eyelids fluttering. When Hoseok pokes his arm, though, Kihyun sits right up and shrieks in excitement, hugging Hoseok. 

“You’re here!” Kihyun yells. “I missed you so much!” 

“Okay, let’s get you home,” Hoseok says, helping Kihyun stand up. To his credit, he only stumbles twice before getting back on his feet.

“Do you have a plastic bag or something in your car in case he throws up?” Seokwon asks. 

Hoseok thinks back to the many, many times he took Changkyun home from parties, one hand on the wheel, one hand holding the bag. “Yeah, I do.” 

“Thanks for coming to get him,” Seokwon says, waving as they’re leaving. 

“Thank you,” Kihyun says, almost walking into the mailbox before Hoseok stops him. “You’re so great. I like you so much.” 

“You’re so nice when you’re drunk,” Hoseok says. “Maybe you should be drunk all the time.” 

“Would you still like me if I was drunk all the time?” Kihyun slurs, as Hoseok manages to fit him into the passenger seat. 

“Who says I like you when you’re sober?” Hoseok says, teasing, getting in on the driver side. 

“You don’t have to say it,” Kihyun says. “I can feel it.” He points to his chest. “In here.” 

“Really?” Hoseok asks, mostly just to keep him talking and not sleeping. Kihyun is heavy for such a tiny person, and Hoseok is not up for carrying him from the car to his apartment. As hard as he tries, though, it’s impossible to stop a flush from creeping up his neck.

“Yeah,” Kihyun says. “Why didn’t you kiss me that night?” 

“What night?” Hoseok asks, even though he knows what night.

“When we were doing homework in your room. I ate a piece of your chocolate and you hit your head on my textbook. I thought you were going to kiss me.”

Hoseok brakes as someone runs across the street. People get so careless about jaywalking near college campuses, it drives him insane. “Why didn’t you kiss me?” His voice shakes. He reminds himself that he’s just a human and he needs to breathe.

“Because you’re not my boyfriend,” Kihyun says, pulling his legs up and curling into a ball. “You’re only my pretend boyfriend.” Hoseok hesitates before taking a right turn. He’s pretty sure that this is how to get to Kihyun’s apartment. It’s confusing driving at night. Almost as confusing as his feelings right now.

“Why aren’t you my real boyfriend?” Kihyun asks, somewhat sadly, as Hoseok sees that he made the correct turn. Kihyun’s apartment complex is just down the street. “I think you’re really cute.” 

“You’re really cute yourself,” Hoseok says, parking the car and getting out. “You’d be even cuter if you have your apartment key.” 

“It’s on my lanyard,” Kihyun says, snuggling into the seat. “In my pocket.” 

“Come on,” Hoseok says, pulling Kihyun out of the car. “Let’s go to your bed. Are your housemates home?”

“The other two are at the party but my roommate is home,” Kihyun says tiredly. “Jeonghan told me that his friends were going to be over today.” 

“Okay,” Hoseok says, supporting Kihyun’s head. “Which apartment is yours?” 

“25,” Kihyun says. “This way.” He promptly trips over the curb and would have hit his face on the sidewalk if Hoseok hadn’t caught him. “This way.” 

A bemused Jeonghan opens the door when Hoseok knocks, because he can’t stop supporting Kihyun long enough to reach for his key. 

“Hi,” Hoseok says. “Can I put him in his bed?” 

“Yeah,” Jeonghan says, almost laughing. “Last door on the left down the hall. It’s pretty obvious which half of the room is his.” 

Jeonghan’s friends all wave at them when they walk past the living room, and Kihyun wakes up long enough to wave back. 

“People are so nice, don’t you think?” Kihyun says, as Hoseok deposits him on the bed next to the giant poster of Howl’s Moving Castle and drags the trash can over next to the head of the bed. “Friendly people make me happy.” 

“I’m going to go now,” Hoseok says. “Are you going to be okay?” 

“Wait,” Kihyun says, sitting up. “Don’t go. Can you stay for a bit? Just until—” He stops to hiccup. “—I fall asleep. Please?”

“Okay,” Hoseok says, because he really is bad at saying no. And looking back, Hoseok thinks that it was worth it. Because Kihyun falls asleep with his head in Hoseok’s lap, and it’s difficult to maneuver Kihyun’s head so he doesn’t wake up, but as Hoseok pulls the blanket up to Kihyun’s chin, he thinks that this, what he’s feeling right now, is really something else. 

 

#

 

The truth about Kihyun is that he is an actual perfect match for Hoseok. Hoseok can’t believe how perfectly they fit together sometimes, how they’re so in sync with each other. When Hoseok hears a joke that he thinks is funny, the first person he tells it to is Kihyun, whether it be in person or via text. Whenever Hoseok is stressed or angry, Kihyun knows exactly what to say and what to feed him to make him feel better. 

The truth about Kihyun is that even though Hoseok had randomly picked him out of chance from a crowd of people, it feels like they were meant to be together. Hoseok could look at Kihyun all day and all night and never get tired at the constant rearrangement of his face. Sometimes, Hoseok walks half a step behind Kihyun and imagines what it would be like to catch up to him on the street when spotting him in the best coincidence the world could ever think of. Hoseok wishes that he could be bold enough to hold Kihyun’s hand like it should be held and kiss him like he should be kissed. Part of Hoseok thinks that he wasn’t complete until the first time he touched Kihyun, the first time he saw Kihyun waking up, a dent in his cheek from sleeping on his textbook, that sleepy smile like the sun after a long winter storm, a solid punch in the gut. Hoseok doesn’t believe in perfection or fate or destiny, but Kihyun makes him want to believe in all that. Kihyun is everything Hoseok never knew he wanted, the first rain after a drought, the first green shoots coming out of the dirt in the spring, fighting frost because in the end he’d be coming home to Hoseok. In all the worlds in all the universes, stacked up on top of each other, Hoseok is sure that it’s always Kihyun that’s on the other end of the tunnel, waiting for him to get there. Hoseok just isn’t sure if he’s strong enough to in this one. 

But maybe this is just Hoseok being dramatic. He switched out of his Theater major for a reason, after all. 

 

#

 

Naturally, Minhyuk begs and pleads with Hoseok until he gives in to the BFD party, and drags Hyunwoo to the liquor store, because since Hyunwoo is the oldest, he obviously should have the best taste in alcohol. Which is complete bullshit because Hoseok is approximately 99.98% sure that Hyunwoo doesn’t know that there is more than one brand of vodka. 

“Can you help me with the bunnies,” Hoseok says, when Kihyun picks up the phone. “Jooheon’s scared of them and Minhyuk and Hyunwoo went to get alcohol. And there’s no one else home.” 

“Yeah, sure,” Kihyun says. “I’ll be over in a few, let me just find my keys.” 

“Thanks,” Hoseok says, and hangs up. Kihyun hasn’t brought up the night Hoseok went to pick him up; Hoseok is almost completely sure Kihyun doesn’t remember any of it. He did ask once, if he said anything stupid, but Hoseok had just smiled and said, _Nothing more than usual._

“Why don’t you tell him how you feel?”

Hoseok turns around to see Jooheon, holding Pumpkin, who miraculously isn’t biting or clawing at him. “What?”

“You know, tell Kihyun that you’re in love with him,” Jooheon says, putting Pumpkin back in the x-pen and flinching when Lemon hisses at him. Hoseok didn’t even know rabbits could hiss. 

Hoseok pets Lemon. She purrs at him. “I’m not in love with him.” 

“Okay, fine. But you like him, like, _like like_ him.” 

“Suddenly we are on a kindergarten playground. Hyungwon pulls the pigtails of six different girls. Hyunwoo punches a bully for making fun of Minhyuk. I’m on the top of a jungle gym, and you’re yelling at me from the top of the slide. The entire population of the playground turns to you and yells back, ‘You’re wrong!’. You are retrieved from the slide by a disgruntled teacher. You are sent to time-out.” 

“You are the weirdest person I know.”

Hoseok shrugs. “Whatever, dude. You’re the one that just said ‘like like’.”

“Well it’s _true_ ,” Jooheon huffs. “And he’s a great guy, you’re not going to be the only person who notices. If you don’t keep a good enough grip on him he’s going to get away.” Hoseok tries not to think about how Jooheon describes Kihyun like he’s a fish. “The other day, I was at work and Kihyun was doing homework at one of the table, and Dasom came up to me and asked if I could slip Kihyun her number.” 

“What a bitch.”

“And last time I went to go visit Bora, she asked who the cute guy with you was the last time you were there,” Jooheon continues. 

“Wait, I thought Kihyun liked guys.”

“I mean, we all thought you liked guys and then you slept with Hyojung for a good five months.” 

Hoseok shrugs. “I was bored living here by myself over the summer.” 

“Didn’t you work 40 hours a week?” 

“Yeah, but it was only me and Lemon and Lime on the weekends,” Hoseok says. “And they don’t like watching movies and cuddling. At least not with me.” 

Jooheon squints at him. “Why are you putting on your tough act all of a sudden?”

“Why are you acting like my relationship counselor all of a sudden?”

“I’m trying to be your _friend_ , Hoseok,” Jooheon says. He’s trying not to yell. Hoseok has a gift. He makes people want to yell at him. “It’s not my fault you’re emotionally stunted.”

“I’m not emotionally stunted,” Hoseok says, but he’s not so sure. 

“What’s going on, Hoseok?” Jooheon asks.

Hoseok stammers a bit. “Nothing? Nothing is going on.” What a terrible lie, he thinks to himself.

Jooheon pauses as someone rings the doorbell. “Saved by the bell, literally,” he says, cracking a smile before picking up his phone and heading back upstairs.

“I bought this a while ago,” Kihyun says, when Hoseok lets him in. He holds out a little chew toy in the shape of a strawberry. “I thought Pumpkin might like it?” 

“I don’t know how to tell you this, but Lemon will probably rip right through that before Pumpkin even gets a chance,” Hoseok says, very seriously, but bursts out laughing when he sees the look on Kihyun’s face. “I’m kidding, if we give it to Pumpkin she’ll probably get all protective of it and the rest will know not to mess with it. She’s in the new and improved x-pen if you want to go see her.” 

“New and improved?”

Hoseok pats the pocket of hoodie for his phone before remembering that he left it in the kitchen. “Yeah, now the bunnies take up the entire den. We moved all the rest of the furniture out to the living room.” 

“This is a big ass house, now that I think about it.” Kihyun steps over the side of the pen to find Pumpkin. “You guys are lucky to be subletting it for so cheap.” 

“I know,” Hoseok says smugly, earning himself a whack on the shoulder. He rubs it gingerly. “For an acapella singer, you know how to hit.” 

“This cute face ain’t everything,” Kihyun says cheerfully, picking up Sprite and cooing at her. She regards him coolly with her red eyes. “Anyway, what did you need help with? The Facebook event said that this wasn’t starting for another hour.” 

“Just general clean up,” Hoseok says. “But it involves going into the x-pen, and these bunnies are out for Jooheon’s blood. Except Pumpkin. Have you talked to your roommates about having a bunny in the apartment?”

“Yeah,” Kihyun says. “They haven’t decided yet, so I need to send them lots of cute pictures of Pumpkin to help them decide.” 

Hoseok pulls out a pair of rubber gloves that they keep near the cages for cleaning the litter box. “Your apartment allows pets, right?”

“No, but what’s life without a little thrill?”

“Ah yes, thrill,” Hoseok says, emptying out the first of four litter boxes. “I love cleaning poop. It thrills me like nothing else.” 

Kihyun laughs, throwing a bit of hay at him. It lands on Hoseok’s face, and he sputters before it falls down. At least it’s clean hay.

“I hate you.” 

“Hate who?” Minhyuk sticks his head in the den, obviously back from his alcohol run. “Hi Kihyun!” 

“Hate me,” Kihyun says cheerfully. “But not anymore because I’m going to take the trash out. Because I’m a great person and friend.” 

“I will _not_ succumb to bribery!” Hoseok exclaims, offended, but Kihyun just flashes him a grin before he leaves, trash bag in hand. 

“I like him,” Hyunwoo says offhandedly.

“Me too,” Minhyuk says. “He’s the best guy you’ve dated, like, ever.” Hoseok opens his mouth to reply, but he closes it a second later, because he doesn’t have anything to say to that.

“You guys are going to love me,” Jooheon announces, coming down the stairs. 

“For what this time?” Hyungwon asks, coming in the front door, everyone else behind him. A disgruntled Changkyun is giving a gleeful Kihyun a piggyback ride. 

“I met with my dealer last night so I’m stocked up,” Jooheon says, pulling the bong out from behind the toaster. “And plus I cleaned Sparkle.” 

“Sparkle?” Kihyun asks. “It’s been a long time since I’ve had the honor of being in the presence of Sparkle.” 

“Who’s Sparkle?” Minkyun asks, and Changkyun pats him sadly. 

“Sparkle is his bong,” Hyungwon supplies helpfully. “Before you say anything else, you should know that Jooheon once broke up with a girl because she said something mean about Sparkle. It is still, to this day, the coldest thing I have ever seen.” 

“That was a great party,” Minhyuk reminisces happily. “Remember Karma?” 

“No gravity bong will ever compare,” Hyunwoo says solemnly. 

“You guys ever think about how we talk about our bongs like they’re strippers?” Hyungwon asks dryly.

Hoseok stifles a laugh and herds everyone towards the living room. “Everything is already set up, even rage cage.” 

“I hate rage cage,” Yoonho protests, but Minhyuk slings an arm around his shoulders anyway. 

“Well then you’re going to be really excited to hear that we’re playing with beer and not vodka, like last time,” Minhyuk says. Yoonho immediately brightens. “But some of the cups have whiskey and you can’t tell which is which.” 

“I’m quitting BFD,” Yoonho mutters. 

“You can quit if you win,” Jooheon says, taking the first hit from Sparkle and passing it to Kihyun. “Is it possible to be in love with a bong?”

“I mean, it must be, because you are,” Kihyun says, taking the next hit. 

“Remember that one time freshman year that we accidentally got really high before going grocery shopping for a BFD cookout?” Minhyuk asks Kihyun. “Hyunwoo hated us because we couldn’t stop talking about quesadillas.” 

“Please do not remind me,” Hyunwoo asked, pain evident in his voice. 

Kihyun gives Sparkle to Minkyun and laughs. “Oh yeah, we needed to get burgers and Hyunwoo was like, guys shut up, we’re getting burgers and leaving, and we were like, but _quesadillas_.” 

“And at the cookout, Hyunwoo was really quiet for a while, and suddenly he slams down his 40 and announces, done,” Hyungwon says. “We were all on our first or second beer, and there was Hyunwoo.” 

“I had a rough day,” Hyunwoo says defensively. “You didn’t have to go grocery shopping with the duo, it was terrible.” 

“The duo,” Minhyuk repeats, coming back from the kitchen holding something that looks suspiciously like Hoseok’s leftover wrap from lunch. Hoseok would stop him, but they eat each other's’ food so often that it’s second nature at this point. “I like the sound of that.” 

“The duo, featuring BFD,” Kihyun says, and he and Minhyuk high five. 

“Excuse me,” Hoseok says, offended. “I believe that it is Hoseok, featuring BFD.” 

“Not if I win this game,” Yoonho says, pushing his sleeves up. Hoseok moves Sparkle to a safe location before anything bad happens. Jooheon is not a pretty crier. 

After Yoonho is unlucky enough to drink from every single cup with whiskey, Hyungwon is nice enough to help him to the couch, where he immediately challenges the other two freshmen to pong. 

“You know what, I’ll play with you Yoonho,” Hyunwoo says. “But make it strip water pong. Both sides can’t put his clothes back on for the rest of the night. Whenever Minkyun makes it, I take something off, whenever Changkyun makes it, Yoonho takes something off. And vice versa. And no, Minhyuk, you can’t take pictures.” 

“Dammit.” 

“Well?” Hyunwoo crosses his arms. “What do you say?”

“Fine,” Minkyun says. Changkyun gives him a long look. 

“You’re new, so you don’t know how good Hyunwoo is,” Changkyun says. “You’re dead.” 

“Yeah, but I’m new, so none of you now how good I am,” Minkyun says, and Hoseok almost feels bad about tricking him into taking a shot a couple minutes ago. 

Minkyun makes the first shot, and Hyunwoo responds by taking off his hoodie. Now he’s only wearing a tank top. 

“I trust Hyunwoo,” Yoonho says solemnly and Hyunwoo cracks a smile when he returns Yoonho’s fist bump. 

Changkyun barters for each sock to be considered one item of clothing, and Hyunwoo takes pity on him and lets him get away with it. In the end, Yoonho is sockless, and Hyunwoo, Changkyun, and Minkyun are sockless and shirtless. 

“Not bad for a newbie,” Hyungwon says, patting Minkyun on the back. 

“I made jungle juice,” Hoseok announces, coming in the living room holding a cup of it in his hand. “It’s in the kitchen. And it’s not 100% alcohol this time.” He sits on the couch and watches the next game of pong, the alcohol warming his body. He’s starting to get a little tipsy, but not so much that he can’t handle himself. 

“We should play spin the bottle,” Hyungwon suggests, after he and Jooheon beat Kihyun and Minhyuk spectacularly. “With truth or dare. I’m not drunk enough to make out with any of you.” 

“That’s a good idea,” Jooheon says, taking another hit from Sparkle. 

“There’s an empty bottle in the kitchen,” Yoonho calls. “Should I bring it over?” 

“Yes,” Minhyuk says, as they all settle into a circle, Kihyun on the couch next to Hoseok. Hoseok is on his fourth or fifth cup of jungle juice, and the burn of each sip is lessening the more he drinks. Which, in retrospect, is not a good sign, but in the moment, Hoseok feels great. “Anyone want to start?”

“I will,” Hyungwon says easily, reaching over to spin it. It slows to a stop, pointed at Kihyun. “Truth or dare?” 

“Dare,” Kihyun says without missing a beat. 

“Damn,” Changkyun comments, pouring more vodka into his jungle juice. Hoseok knows that tomorrow morning, Changkyun’s going to be in the bathroom, assuming a crouched position in front of the toilet. “That was quick.” 

“What can I say?” Kihyun shrugs. “I have a lot of secrets.” 

“Kiss Hoseok,” Hyungwon says. 

“What?” Hoseok tries not to sound so panicked. 

“What?” Hyungwon asks. “You guys are dating. That’s a pretty easy dare. First dare shouldn’t be too crazy.” 

He’s right. When Hoseok turns his head, Kihyun’s looking at him, and their faces are close enough together that neither of them have to move much before Kihyun kisses him, hesitantly at first, his free hand resting on the top of Hoseok’s arm. 

As first kisses go, it’s pretty good. Kihyun’s mouth is warm and slick against his, and Hoseok tilts his head back slightly to let Kihyun’s tongue enter his mouth. When Hoseok doesn’t pull away, Kihyun’s nails dig slightly into Hoseok’s arm, and Hoseok almost whines at the heat of Kihyun’s mouth against his before he remembers that there are people in the room, and forces himself to stop. 

“Okay,” Hyunwoo says. “I think Hyungwon meant, give him a peck, but okay.” 

“I don’t know about you guys, but I’m going to finish this 40 so I can forget that I saw that with my own eyes,” Minhyuk says conversationally, holding up a mostly full handle of vodka.

“You’ve seen Hoseok naked, and that’s what you want to forget?” Yoonho asks. Hoseok glares at him as hard as possible, but his head is still spinning, from both the alcohol and the kiss.

Kihyun laughs, spinning the bottle. His lips are a little pink and mostly kissable. It points to Minhyuk, who takes a swig from the handle before saying, “Truth.” 

“You have a crush on someone in the room, true or false,” Kihyun asks, leaning back, his arm casually slipping around Hoseok. 

“No,” Minhyuk says flatly. “I’ve seen all of you naked, and half of romance is the mystery.” Changkyun almost spits out his drink as they all laugh. Before he’s fully recovered, Minhyuk spins the bottle, and it lands on Hyunwoo, who gives Minhyuk a warning look before saying, “Dare”. 

“Text your last hookup, ‘hey babe how are you?’,” Minhyuk says without missing a beat, and looks gratified when they all laugh except Hyunwoo. 

“What I want to know is who is his last hookup,” Jooheon says, and they all look at Hyunwoo expectantly. 

“I said dare, not truth,” Hyunwoo says firmly, but he does send the text and screenshots it for the group chat, although he crops out the contact name. 

Hyunwoo’s bottle lands on Changkyun, and Changkyun shotguns a beer, although he spills it all over himself. 

“I’ll get you a towel,” Minhyuk says, taking pity on him. While he’s gone, Changkyun’s spin lands on Hyungwon. 

“Truth,” Hyungwon says immediately. 

“Is Dasom the best you’ve ever had?” Changkyun asks. If Hoseok had been sober, he would have tensed up, but there’s too much alcohol in his system for him to react quickly to anything. 

“Well, I actually just ended it with her, so no,” Hyungwon says, taking a sip of his jungle juice. When he notices everyone is staring at him, including Minhyuk, who’s back with a towel for Changkyun, he says, “What?”

“You ended things with Dasom?” Yoonho asks, stunned. “Hasn’t it been like over a year?” 

Hyungwon shrugs, reaching over and pouring more vodka into his own jungle juice. “On and off, yeah, but it wasn’t anything special. We weren’t exclusive or anything.” 

“Why?” Hyunwoo asks. “Did you end it.”

“I mean, I see Hoseok and Kihyun every day, and they’re so good together, you know?” Hyungwon takes a sip and makes a face at the taste. “I want that.” 

“Wow, that got deep real quick,” Changkyun says, after a minute or so. “Um, spin the bottle?” 

Hyungwon does, and it lands on Yoonho, who hesitates before saying, “Truth”. 

“What’s the best, or stupidest, thing you’ve seen while you were working at Local Burger?” Hyungwon asks. Jooheon falls on the floor laughing. 

“Please no,” Kihyun pleads, but it’s no use. “Okay, well if you’re all going to hear this story, you should know that it was not one of my finer moments.” 

“Last semester,” Yoonho starts. “I had just started working at Local Burger, and this was actually before I knew either Jooheon or Kihyun. The first Saturday after the school year began, it was my shift until 2 a.m. At about 1:45, there’s this huge ruckus at the door, so I went over to see what it was about.”

“Please don’t listen,” Kihyun says to Hoseok, who pushes his face away before turning his attention back to the story. 

“So Local Burger is BYOB, but you’re not allowed to bring a handle of gin inside,” Yoonho says. “And when the manager on duty tried to stop him, Kihyun challenged him to a dance off. And started beatboxing.” 

“You can beatbox?” Hyunwoo asks Kihyun. 

“No.” 

“I wish I had been sober enough to film it,” Jooheon says regretfully. 

“This is why I didn’t text you to hang out again for the rest of the semester,” Kihyun mutters spitefully. 

“So you were carrying around a handle of gin?” Minkyun asks. “Just you and a handle of gin?”

“Well, I had a beer with me but I finished that,” Kihyun says defensively. 

“Dude, I was with you,” Jooheon says. “You threw the beer at a wall when you couldn’t get it open and yelled at it because it wasn’t gin. The police saw you and laughed. I think they were drunk too.” 

“How come you didn’t get in trouble for underage drinking?” Changkyun asks, and then hiccups. Hoseok should probably tell him to stop drinking, but Changkyun never listens. 

“I have a fake,” Kihyun says. “I mean, I never use it, but I have one.” 

“Awesome, now we can bug Kihyun for alcohol too,” Yoonho says, finishing off whatever’s in his cup. “Hyunwoo is so uptight these days. Let a boy live.” 

“You just heard what happened to Kihyun when he was allowed to _live_ ,” Jooheon says flatly, like they’re not all binge drinking right then and there.

“I have made my share of poor choices,” Kihyun sniffs. 

“Well, you know what they all say,” Hoseok says. “Beatboxing at a dance off is like bringing a knife to a gunfight.” 

“Like I said,” Kihyun repeats. “Poor choices.” 

They play a couple more rounds, in which Minkyun gives Hyungwon a lap dance, Hoseok calls Hyojung and is brutally shot down, and Jooheon gives them all a lesson in blowing O’s because he just got a new vape and he loves showing it off. 

“This was fun,” Kihyun says, as they get up to make room on the couch. Hyunwoo sets down a sleeping Yoonho and pulls the spare blanket over him. 

“Yeah,” Hoseok says, as Hyungwon turns on the Wii. “It was, wasn’t it.” 

“Who wants to play?” Hyungwon asks, and Kihyun raises his hand and catches the controller. 

“Now that Yoonho is asleep, how _cute_ is his roommate?” Minhyuk says, as Hyunwoo literally kicks his ass in SSB. “At least as cute as Kihyun’s roommate.” 

“No way, Jeonghan is so much cuter than Seokwon will ever be,” Kihyun says, throwing a turtle shell at Hyungwon. “It’s the truth.”

“Jeonghan’s friends are cute too,” Hoseok says, picking up the handle that Minhyuk abandoned and drinking from it. “Although I only saw them that one time.” 

Kihyun turns to look at him, allowing Hyungwon to push his character off the ledge. “Cuter than me?” 

“Hoseok about to die,” Jooheon stage whispers. Hyunwoo smacks his head. 

“No,” Hoseok says. “You’re the cutest.” Kihyun sits back, appeased. 

“Disgusting,” Changkyun says, head on Minkyun’s shoulder. 

“I gotta say, of all the people Hoseok has ever been with, and that’s a _lot_ , not going to lie, I like you the best,” Minhyuk says, taking the handle back from Hoseok and finishing it. “And I mean a _lot_.”

“A lot, huh?” Kihyun says, looking at him. Hoseok gulps. “Interesting.” 

“Not that many,” Hoseok says, laughing nervously. The alcohol isn’t helping. “Minhyuk’s just, you know, exaggerating. There haven’t been that many. Minhyuk’s just, you know. Just. Minhyuk—”

“Minhyuk’s dead,” Hyungwon says. Jooheon and Hyunwoo just shrug and keep playing. 

“No,” Kihyun says. “I mean, not yet, at least. It’s okay if there have been a lot. It’s none of my business.” 

Hoseok squints at him. “Really?” 

“Yeah,” Kihyun says. “After all, we’re just, you know.” 

“Yeah,” Hoseok says, reality pushing in from every corner, compressing him and Kihyun together until they both can’t fit, and it’s just him in a little box of every lie he’s ever told. They’re just pretend. At the end of the day, after all the moments and touches and kisses, they’re just pretend. “I know.” 

 

#

 

“I thought you said that we weren’t going to have practice during midterm season,” Jooheon grumbles, as Hyunwoo turns the music off. Minkyun is lying flat on his back, Minhyuk on his stomach. 

“Midterm season was a long time ago,” Kihyun says, breathing hard. None of them are wearing shirts anymore, and Hoseok only has one clean towel left. He tosses it to Kihyun anyway. Kihyun catches it, shooting him a grateful smile. 

“Yeah, but it still feels like it,” Jooheon says, pushing his sweaty hair out of his face and resignedly letting it fall back down. “I’m weak.” 

“If we get one more perfect runthrough, then I’ll let you go,” Hyunwoo says, causing all of them to scramble back on their feet. 

“Just kidding, I’m strong,” Jooheon says, and Hyungwon laughs, clapping him on the shoulder. 

They end up having to run it through five more times, but that just makes release even sweeter. Hoseok examines his converse, a new pair he had gotten from Hyungwon as a late birthday present, along with a sheepish apology about its belatedness. They’re already starting to show a bit a wear on the sides. He hates it when he ruins his shoes. 

“I parked near the library,” Kihyun says, waving as he starts towards the opposite direction. “So see you guys tomorrow?” 

“Wait,” Hoseok calls after him. Kihyun stops, turning around. Hoseok hesitates before running towards him and pecking him on the lips. “Okay, now bye.” Kihyun smiles, squeezing Hoseok’s hand before walking again. 

“I’d love to stay and talk about how unbearable Hoseok is, but I’ve got to run, my lovelies,” Minhyuk says cheerfully, practically _giddy_. 

Hyunwoo narrows his eyes at him. “Why are you so happy?” he asks, suspicion etched into every word. 

“I’m going to go meet someone,” Minhyuk says with an uncharacteristically happy smile. “A boy. That’s why I drove today.” 

“I knew it was weird that he drove,” Jooheon mutters. “Who?”

“Oh, you know,” Minhyuk mutters. “Just someone.” 

“Why won’t you tell us?” Hoseok pressures. “Why? Is it someone we know?” 

Minhyuk stays silent. 

“Oh my god, who is it,” Hyungwon asks, impatiently. “It’s not like any of us have recently gotten out of a real relationship, so it doesn’t matter if we know him.” 

“Okay fine,” Minhyuk huffs. “It’s Seokwon.” 

Jooheon chokes on the water he had been chugging and effectively makes it rain on all of them them. Yoonho gives Jooheon a long, dirty look before turning back to Minhyuk. “You’re hooking up with my roommate? My roommate? _My_ roommate?”

“We’re not hooking up,” Minhyuk says defensively. They’re almost at the rec center parking lot. “I added him on Facebook and he accepted my request and then we started talking and we have a lot in common, okay! Also he is _so_ cute.” 

“Well, good luck, because he’s pledging that frat,” Yoonho mutters. 

“What frat?” Minhyuk asks. 

“I can’t remember,” Yoonho says. “But he said his big is Kwang something? Kwanghee? Kwangmin?” 

“Kwangji?” Hoseok supplies. 

“Yeah,” Yoonho says. “That’s him. And Seokwon’s nice, but also really busy. I never see the guy.” 

“Well, this is only the first date,” Minhyuk says. “Who knows if we’ll even work out.” 

“Oh my god, I haven’t heard the term ‘first date’ in too long,” Hyungwon says, unlocking his car. “That’s kind of sad, actually. College relationships suck.” 

“Whatever,” Minhyuk says. “Come on, freshmen, I’ll drive you back to your dorms.” Minkyun and Changkyun cheer as Yoonho just shakes his head and takes the front seat. “See you later tonight.” 

“Please do not hook up on the first date,” Hyunwoo says, pain in his voice. “My spare blankets are dirty and I don’t have time to wash them to sleep on the couch.” 

“I don’t even have a couch to sleep on,” Yoonho calls from inside the car.

“Relax, it’s a first date,” Minhyuk says. “I don’t put out on the first date.” 

“Oh, _really_ ,” Jooheon says. “Then how would you explain—”

“Okay, that’s enough out of you,” Minhyuk says, tapping Jooheon’s nose, surprising him into silence. “Why don’t you go take shotgun before Hoseok knocks you to the ground ? You have some time because you don’t have any pizza.” 

“Please stop referring to the Domino’s Incident,” Hoseok says tiredly. “I mean, you tackle someone _once_ over a box of pizza and it’s like you’re branded for life.” 

“You tackled me, ripped the pizza boxes out of my hands, and pinned me to the ground, all while screaming, ‘Bow before me, puny humans. I bring the pizza’,” Hyunwoo deadpans. “Sometimes, I can still hear the screams at night, when I’m trying to sleep.” 

“No, that’s just me whispering to you through the wall,” Jooheon says cheerfully, sliding into the front seat. 

“Any preference on radio?” Hyungwon asks, when they’ve all piled in. Changkyun waves from the back seat of Minhyuk’s car as they drive away. Hoseok sticks out his tongue, because he still hasn’t outgrown that habit. 

“No,” Hyunwoo says, shifting around and pulling out a pink, sequined scarf from the depths of the floor. “What is this thing? It’s been rubbing against my leg since I sat down.” 

“Shit, that’s Dasom’s,” Hyungwon says, glancing back. “She must have left it in here after, well, you know.” 

“And he tells us this while we’re sitting exactly where he did it,” Hoseok says flatly, shuddering. “You are the worst type of person, Hyungwon.” 

Hyungwon laughs anyway. “I mean, at least you won’t have to deal with her coming over all the time now,” he says. “That’s a plus, right?”

“Yeah,” Hoseok says, fishing around in the pocket of his hoodie for his phone. “I guess.” 

Hyungwon taps his fingers on the steering wheel while Jooheon keeps changing the radio station. 

“You guys ever think you’re going to fall in love?” Hyungwon asks, after a moment of silence. They all pause, confused. 

Hyunwoo recovers first. “What?” 

“Just, you know, wondering,” Hyungwon says. “I turned 20 this year, and I haven’t had a single serious relationship. Is that weird?” 

“I don’t think anyone in this car has had a single serious relationship,” Hoseok says. 

“Well, except you,” Hyungwon says, meeting Hoseok’s eyes in the rear-view mirror. “You and Kihyun are pretty serious, right?” 

“Um,” Hoseok says intelligently. He has no idea what to say. Maybe this is how the pretend dating thing comes around to bite him in the ass. 

“Hoseok doesn’t like to talk about feelings, remember?” Jooheon says. He, of all people, is coming to Hoseok’s rescue. “He has the emotional capacity of like, a potato.” 

“Nah, that’s you,” Hyunwoo says, to which Jooheon makes a noise of protest. “Hoseok’s like, a block of cheese. Sometimes things get absorbed.” 

“What a metaphor,” Hyungwon says, amused. “I’m actually kind of impressed.” 

“Why are you bringing it up, anyway?” Hoseok asks. “I didn’t know you were a relationship-type person.” 

“I didn’t think I was,” Hyungwon says, turning onto their street. “It’s just, seeing you and Kihyun makes me think, you know? When am I going to find someone? Because the first time you told me that you had a boyfriend, I didn’t believe you at all. Like, you were talking like you had just made it up on the spot. But when I talked to the two of your together, it seemed so perfect, you know? Your personalities are perfect for each other.” 

Hoseok watches Jooheon and Hyunwoo exchange a glance while Hyungwon is pulling up in their driveway. 

“That’s really soft, sorry guys,” Hyungwon says, laughing quietly. “Didn’t mean to bring you all down.” 

“Nah,” Hyunwoo says, punching him lightly on the shoulder while Jooheon drops his keys. “What are bros for?” 

“Bros are for co-ownership of bunnies,” Hoseok says, drawing a smile out of Hyungwon. 

“Are you going to sleep now?” Jooheon asks Hyungwon as they’re going up the stairs, Hyunwoo right behind them. By the time, Hyungwon replies, Hoseok can’t hear him. He turns the lights on in the den, to see that all the bunnies had lined up in front of him, noses twitching expectantly. 

“I don’t have any treats,” Hoseok tells them, and they all disperse like they understood what he said. Maybe they did. Hoseok checks to make sure they all have adequate food and water before turning off all the downstairs lights, locking the front door, and going up to his room. He’s debating with himself if he should do some work, shower, then sleep, or save showering for the next morning, or just skip it all together. He’s still sweaty from practice, but he’s also lazy. Also, most of the sweat on him dried, so is it really worth taking a shower? And it’s not like he’s expecting to see anyo—

His phone rings, not on vibrate, so the punk melody that he liked so much in high school, and secretly still likes now, blares through the house. Hyungwon smacks the wall that they share to let him know exactly how annoying it is. Hoseok ignores him and answers his phone, a glance at the screen letting him know that Kihyun’s calling. Maybe he forgot something at their house. 

“Hello?”

“Hoseok?” Kihyun sounds out of breath. 

“Why do you sound like you just ran five miles?” 

“How do you know what I sound like after I run five miles?” 

“We go to the gym together three times a week. I know what you sound like after you plank for too long.” 

“Oh, right,” Kihyun says, taking a deep breath. “Can you, um, open your front door for me?” 

“What?” 

“The door,” Kihyun repeats. “I’m in front of your door, and I don’t know if you have a spare key hidden somewhere. Also, I think that would be really weird, to just go into your house like that. What if one of your neighbors saw me and thought I was breaking in?” 

“Okay, okay,” Hoseok says. “Just a minute, I’m coming down.” 

“Thanks,” Kihyun says. Hoseok almost hangs up, but Kihyun doesn’t, and Hoseok just stays on the line. 

“I’m almost at the door,” Hoseok says, to break the silence.

“I know, I can hear you coming down the stairs,” Kihyun says, a smile in his voice. “You sure do walk loud.” 

“This house is creaky,” Hoseok says, unlocking the front door, opening it to reveal Kihyun. He has a paper bag of fast food in one hand and in the other his phone. “Everything sounds loud.” 

“Yeah?” Kihyun says. Neither of them hang up their phones. “Is that why ever since I’ve been standing here, I can hear my heart beating like it’s pressed up against my ear? It’s driving me insane.” 

Hoseok hangs up the phone and puts it in the pocket of his hoodie, and in the same breath kisses Kihyun, really kisses him, the way he was meant to be kissed. Kihyun freezes, but only for a second. His arm comes around to pull Hoseok closer, and Hoseok can feel Kihyun’s phone digging into his back. 

“Wait,” Kihyun says, his phone hand on Hoseok’s chest now. “I have food, and if we spill it here, we’ll never hear the end of it.” 

“I know,” Hoseok says, “so let’s go put it in the kitchen and get back to this before someone comes down and knocks some sense into us.” 

Kihyun leans forward and pecks him on the lips, exactly the way Hoseok had earlier. “Sounds like a plan.” 

 

#

 

Over the next couple of weeks, sometimes Kihyun beats Hoseok to his room, and when Hoseok walks in, he’s immediately greeted with a kiss, like they’re some domestic couple. 

It sucks how much Hoseok loves it. 

It takes a couple tries to get it right, though. The first time Hoseok walks in to see someone pacing back and forth in front of the door, he thinks that he’s being robbed. 

“I’m armed!” Hoseok yells, fishing in his coat pocket for the little bottle of cologne he keeps there for emergencies. When his fingers close around it, he aims, somewhat, and sprays. 

“What the _fuck_ ,” Kihyun yells, using his arms to shield his face. “It’s me, dumbass!” 

Hoseok lowers the weapon. “Oh.” 

Kihyun tilts his head. “Is that my cologne?” 

It is. “Too many words,” Hoseok say, unzipping his coat and kissing Kihyun in the same fluid motion. “Not enough touching.” He kicks the door shut with his foot. When he makes his way up Kihyun’s neck, he can feel Kihyun’s smile, like he’s seeing it with his own eyes. 

Those are the sweeter parts. Most of the time, Kihyun’s pressed up against the wall, Hoseok taking him from the back. Kihyun tends to get distracted, but Hoseok always makes sure to turn Kihyun’s head so his mouth is still in reach. After they come, Kihyun’s always more affectionate, and Hoseok lets him be selfish then, exploring Kihyun’s mouth lazily, like he has all the time in the world. He hates it when he falls asleep, because Kihyun’s never there when he wakes up. It could be one in the morning, and when Hoseok starts awake an hour and a half later, Kihyun’s gone, like he hadn’t even been there in the first place. 

It’s all Hoseok’s fault, really. For falling in love with someone like Kihyun. Transient. The water beating on the shoreline, leaving no trace of the sandcastles built over the years. Fragments of all the movies he’s ever seen, piecing themselves together in the wrong order. 

Kihyun’s that type of person, Hoseok thinks. Exactly the type person that Hoseok will never be able to call his own. 

 

# 

 

Exhaustion weighs down Kihyun like a raincloud. Hoseok thinks he’s the only one who notices, because no one else mentions how Kihyun stumbles three times in two minutes. After practice, Kihyun packs his bag by himself, head hanging low, his hair damp from sweat. It should gross Hoseok out, but it does the exact opposite. 

“Hi,” Hoseok says, going over to sit next to him. Kihyun looks up and smiles, and Hoseok can’t believe how much it breaks his heart, all over again. He might as well be in elementary school, getting his favorite toy taken away from him and crying when he didn’t get it back. It’s the same concept. Hoseok just has to accept the fact that he’s grown up now. 

“Want to come over?” Kihyun asks, passing a hand over his eyes. “Jeonghan left this afternoon to go hiking with his friends.” 

“Why would they go hiking when it’s this cold?” Hoseok asks, but he’s already lost interest in the subject. 

“They’re also camping all weekend,” Kihyun says. 

“Is this why you told me not to drive today?” Hoseok asks. 

“I can’t have you coming over with a mode of transportation handy,” Kihyun says, mouth crooked in a smile. “What if I wanted to keep you forever?” 

“Okay,” Hoseok says, and to Kihyun’s credit, he only freezes for a second before he pushes Hoseok away, making a face. 

Everything’s changed since they’ve changed ranks from pretend boyfriends to friends with benefits. When Hoseok comes downstairs in the morning with a hickey above his shirt collar, all Jooheon says before turning his attention back to his breakfast is that it’s cold out, he should wear a scarf, even on warmer days. Minhyuk doesn’t make as many teasing comments about them anymore, even though Hoseok knows Minhyuk well enough to know that he _never_ stops coming up with comments. 

Hoseok goes with Kihyun to his apartment that night, but after Kihyun falls asleep, his skin impossibly warm against Hoseok, he gets out of bed, putting his clothes back on and picking up his backpack. It’s almost two in the morning, but it’s a Friday night and other people will be out. It shouldn’t be too bad walking back. Last time he checked, it’s not more than a 30 minute distance. 

Before he goes, though, he leans over the bed, kissing Kihyun on his forehead, and then his cheek. Kihyun’s on his side, and Hoseok doesn’t want to risk waking him by turning him over, so he settles for the corner of his mouth before leaving, remembering to lock the front door. 

When he gets back, after successfully dodging many beer cans and one handle of vodka, he finds that everyone else is still up. 

“I thought you were spending the night at Kihyun’s,” Jooheon says, confused, as Hoseok takes off his shoes at the door. 

“Nah,” Hoseok says, shrugging off his coat. “Not tonight.” _Or any night._

No one else says anything, but Hyungwon follows him into the kitchen. 

“Are you okay?” 

Hoseok turns around to see Hyungwon perched on the table, his legs crossed at the ankle. He remembers what it was like to have a crush on Hyungwon. He doesn’t remember it hurting quite this much, though. 

“Yeah, fine,” he says. “Why?” 

Hyungwon swings his legs back and forth while Hoseok rummages through the fridge for leftovers. He finds a tupperware of pasta and pops it in the microwave. “You seem really tired lately,” he says. “And you get back really late sometimes.” 

“It’s no big deal,” Hoseok says, even though it really is. 

“And you didn’t even take your car today,” Hyungwon continues. “You know you can always ask one of us to pick you up, right?” 

Hoseok swallows his mouthful of food before saying, “The walk isn’t that bad. Plus, gives me time to think, you know?” 

Hyungwon opens his mouth and looks at the pasta. Hoseok gets the message, giving him a forkful of linguine. 

“I know we’ve never been super close,” Hyungwon says, when he’s done chewing, “but I’m here if you need to talk.” For the first time, Hoseok kind of feels bad about the prank. “You’re still my best friend.” 

“I know,” Hoseok says, forcing a smile on his face. He puts the tupperware in the sink and lets it soak in water. Damn Minhyuk and his frugal leftovers. 

“We’re all worried,” Hyungwon continues. Hoseok examines his hands on the counter. “But no one wanted to say anything.” 

“Why, am I scary?” Hoseok asks. The tension in the room breaks, and Hyungwon smiles easily, slinging an arm around Hoseok’s shoulders as they’re walking back to the living room. The coffee table is pushed to the side, and Minhyuk’s sprawled on the floor with Changkyun, who’s fast asleep. They’re both in sleeping bags, but Jooheon puts an extra blanket on Changkyun, because he’s always complaining about being cold. 

“Awesome, you’re back,” Hyunwoo says, as Yoonho and Minkyun move over on the couch to make room for both of them. Hoseok opts to sit on the floor instead, so they won’t be too crowded. Minhyuk moves to rest his chin over Hoseok’s leg. “This is the good part.” 

“No, the good part’s later,” Yoonho pipes up, his knees tucked under his chin. “After that other guys dies.”

“You said you’ve never seen this movie before,” Jooheon accuses. 

Yoonho smiles, throwing Jooheon a wink. “I just know.” 

The character on screen trips over a dead body and saves it by somersaulting. “Look,” Minhyuk says. “It’s Hyungwon.” They all laugh, and Minkyun throws a cushion at Jooheon because he’s trying to recreate the scene using Changkyun’s sleeping body. At least even if he loses Kihyun, he’ll still have his friends. Hoseok smiles a little. 

Yeah, he’ll still have his friends. 

 

#

 

“Hey Kihyun?” 

Kihyun glances up from his textbook for a second. “Yeah?” 

“Where are we?” 

Kihyun looks up then. “We’re pulling a prank on our friends,” he says. “And we’re having fun while doing that, right?”

“Yeah,” Hoseok says. “Right.” 

Kihyun smiles then, and Hoseok thinks that it could have gone worse, but it also could have gone a lot better.

 

#

 

Hoseok wakes up the morning of the last BFD performance of the semester to a Minhyuk jumping on his bed, narrowly avoiding hitting anything with his flailing limbs. 

“The fuck?” Hoseok’s mind is still cloudy with sleep. “What are you doing? Did I oversleep?”

“No,” Minhyuk says. “But aren’t you excited! I’m so excited!” This is their only performance on a big stage with real stage lights, the others are in smaller auditoriums.

“I can see that,” Hoseok says. He checks his phone to see that it’s almost seven in the morning. On a Saturday. “If I didn’t have to get up in like fifteen minutes I would kick your ass.” 

“The shower’s free right now but I know Hyunwoo just got up. Unless you want to shower all the way downstairs, I would move. Fast.” 

Hoseok does, and when he gets downstairs, dressed, a towel around his shoulders, Kihyun’s in the kitchen, scrambling eggs. Jooheon’s at the table, drinking milk from the gallon container.

“Hi, you,” Hoseok says, going over to kiss him, because still allowed to do that, as long as it’s for pranking purposes. Kihyun turns his head long enough for a peck. “What are you doing over here so early?”

“I knew that you guys suck at getting up in the morning, but we have dress rehearsal at 10, and we have to be up all day until after the show. And you know Kwangji wants you to go to the after party.” Kihyun pulls the two pieces of toast from the toast and puts them on a plate, holding it out to Hoseok. 

“I’m not going to that party,” Hoseok says decidedly, spreading jam on his toast. It’s amazing that they have food in the house. 

“That’s what you say now,” Kihyun says, putting down the spatula. “Watch the eggs, I’ll be right back.” Hoseok goes over and observes the fluffy mass bubble. There’s steam in his face. 

“I can’t believe you still haven’t told him how you feel,” Jooheon says. “Still. Haven’t. Told. Him. How. You. Feel.” 

“You don’t know how hard it is,” Hoseok complains, picking up the spatula and scrambling the eggs a little more. They look done, so he puts them on a plate and turns the stove off. “Every time I try to say, ‘I want to talk about us’, I end up saying, ‘I want to go to the movies’. Do you have any idea how many movies we’ve gone to see recently.” 

“All of them, according to Kihyun,” Jooheon says. “He thinks you’re some sort of film enthusiast.” 

“I can’t do it,” Hoseok says, spearing a piece of egg on a fork and hating how delicious it looks. “I really, honestly, truly cannot do it.” 

“Yes, you can,” Jooheon says. “You’re lucky we’re all too nice to meddle in your personal life. Grow a pair, dude.” 

“That sounds much less condescending when you have a milk mustache,” Hoseok says, and Jooheon scowls at him, but doesn’t reach for a napkin. He’s just going to drink more milk anyway. 

By the time they get to the auditorium, it’s almost nine. Hyunwoo almost drives into the parking lot sign, and totally would have if Hyungwon hadn’t grabbed the wheel and swerved them in the opposite direction. Hoseok chooses to stay quiet about the coffee that now stains a small section of Hyunwoo’s back seats. He can find out about that another day. 

“Hoseok!” Hoseok starts awake and turns to see Kwangji jogging towards him, clipboard in hand. 

“Hey,” Hoseok says, barely remembering in time the handshake they perfected over their year as roommates. It’s so lame that even Minhyuk looks stunned. “It’s been a while. I didn’t even know you were also in ASA until like two months ago when you messaged me.” 

“Yeah,” Kwangji says brightly. “I organized this entire event. Asian Night is my production this year. Your rehearsal is in fifteen minutes, after this group finishes. If you want, I can get one of the ASA members to show you to your dressing room.” 

“Wow, what an upgrade,” Hyunwoo says. “We didn’t get dressing rooms last year.” 

“That’s because Jihyun sucks at planning, but she’d never admit it,” Kwangji says, with a laugh. “But she’ll show you where it is.” 

Jihyun’s a pretty upperclassman, Hoseok vaguely remembers her from Asian Night last year, but she had been barking orders and emitting a terrifying aura overall, so they had all stayed quiet in fear. 

“I remember you guys from last year,” she says, as they’re walking somewhere backstage. “You guys did that Drake medley and one girl threw her panties onstage.” 

“Holy shit, I totally forgot about that,” Jooheon says, laughing. “At the after party, like six girls came up to me and said it was her’s. We never found out.” 

“Maybe that’s a good thing,” Kihyun says, wryly.

Hoseok checks his phone as he’s setting his stuff down. “The freshmen are here,” he says. “Waiting backstage for us. We can bring them here after rehearsal then?” 

“Yeah,” Jihyun says. “Don’t forget that there’s a full run through of the show at two. It’s going to be with the MC’s and everything, so don’t be late. Especially you, Kihyun.” 

“What did Kihyun do?” Minhyuk asks, as they’re walking backstage. 

“Nothing,” Kihyun says. “Probably. But I’m MC-ing. So I can’t be late.” 

“You didn’t tell us that,” Jooheon says accusingly. “Who’s your co-MC?” 

“Um,” Kihyun says, obviously trying to avoid the subject. “It’s Hyojung. She’s really good friends with Jihyun, apparently.” 

Hoseok almost laughs, the situation is so comical. “Is she going to say nasty stuff about us when she’s announcing our performance because you won’t be there to stop her?” 

“Nah,” Kihyun says. “At least, I hope not. She’s mostly gotten over you.” 

“Man, that girl is too hot to be pining over Hoseok,” Hyunwoo says, matter-of-factly. 

“Thanks,” Hoseok says sarcastically. “Real confidence booster.” 

“I don’t think he’s that bad,” Kihyun says, reaching out, seemingly unconsciously, so that his thumb grazes Hoseok’s cheek. Hoseok hates how much his body responds to the touch. “He’s not that bad.” 

“Please, keep it in your pants,” Changkyun says sarcastically, but is immediately distracted by the group on stage. “Who’s that girl in the middle?” 

“Sojung,” Minkyun says immediately. When they all turn to look at him, he just shrugs. “We’re both business majors so we see each other a lot.” 

“Dibs,” Changkyun says immediately. 

“I mean, we also grew up together so we’re best friends and she tells me demeaning things about every single guy that hits on her, so if you do go for it, we’ll have something to talk about afterwards,” Minkyun says cheerfully. 

“Fine, never mind,” Changkyun says, sulking. 

“Get over it,” Jooheon says, a little sternly, “because we’re on.” 

The stage is a little bigger than their practice room, and they spend the first fifteen minutes of their half hour figuring out how far they should be spaced out from each other. It’s much easier to fill the stage with nine members than with five, so it’s better than last year. 

Then, once the music starts, of course Jooheon trips over air and almost falls off the stage into the pit. Hyungwon runs and rolls him back before he can tip over. 

“Thanks,” Jooheon says, wincing, rubbing his shin. 

“Did you hurt it?” Hyunwoo yells, over the music. Hoseok signals to Kwangji to cut the audio. 

“What?” 

“Did you hurt your shin?” Hyunwoo asks again. 

“No, I don’t think so,” Jooheon says, bending and unbending his leg. “I just banged it against the side of the stage. Should be fine.” 

“Okay,” Hyunwoo says. “I think we have time for one more run through.” 

They do, and this time no one trips, no one falls. It goes smoothly enough that Hyunwoo seems pleased afterwards. 

“Don’t forget about the run through later,” Jihyun calls after them, and they all chorus that they won’t. Changkyun reluctantly picks up all three of the bags because he lost the match of rock, paper, scissors, and Hyunwoo leads the way back to the dressing room. 

“Anyone want to order pizza?” Hyungwon asks, the second they’ve all filed through the door. “I’m hungry.”

“You ate like six eggs and four pieces of toast at breakfast,” Minhyuk reminds him. 

Hyungwon flips a dismissive hand. “Breakfast food doesn’t count. It’s almost noon.” 

“I’m down,” Kihyun says. “Does three larges sound about right?”

“Yeah, probably,” Hyunwoo says, already dialing his phone. 

Kihyun taps Hoseok on the shoulder. “I need to go meet with Hyojung to check what we’re saying for each performer, but can you make sure they get something with pepperoni?”

“Yeah,” Hoseok says, and smiles when Kihyun kisses him before leaving. 

“Please,” Minhyuk says. He rolls his eyes. “Are you serious.” 

“I think it’s sweet,” Hyungwon says, Hyunwoo talking over all of them. 

“Can you get something with pepperoni?” Hoseok asks Hyunwoo, deliberately ignoring the rest of them. 

“Already done,” Minhyuk says, before Hyunwoo even has a chance to respond. “You know how much Hyunwoo loves pepperoni.” 

While they’re waiting, they all take turns letting Yoonho and Minhyuk braid their hair. Hoseok dozes off for a bit, but wakes up when the smell of pizza hits him. 

“Okay, everyone owes me six bucks,” Kihyun says, setting the pizzas down. “I accept cash and Venmo, but not hugs, kisses, or other forms of intimacy.” 

“Not even from Hoseok?” Hyungwon asks, and Hoseok can’t tell if he’s being serious or not.

“Well, maybe from Hoseok,” Kihyun says, a small smile playing on his lips, and when Hoseok meets his eyes from across the room, he can’t help but smile too. Maybe this is why it’s so hard to say the words to end this limbo situation they’re in. Maybe part of Hoseok, a subconscious part of him, wants to drag this out for as long as possible. Maybe some part of him, a little, tiny part that he can’t explain, doesn’t want this to end. 

Hyojung doesn’t end up writing a diss track while she’s introducing them, although she pretends to forget Hoseok’s name for a bit when she’s announcing the group members. Minhyuk laughs, expectedly, and Hoseok ignores him. When they’re onstage, Hoseok can’t see anything past the first two rows because the lights are so bright, but he does see some familiar faces: Seokwon and the rest of Knight Music, Jeonghan and his friends, Dasom, who doesn’t end up hating Hyungwon after all. No one trips, no one falls, and they nail every move. Hoseok doesn’t believe in magic, but that performance was perfect. 

When Hoseok looks over towards the end, just for a split second they’re in the air after a jump in the choreography, and sees Kihyun’s face, concentrated but smiling, illuminated by the stage lights, Hoseok lets himself believe, just for that second, that magic exists, because he wants to freeze time, right then, right there. Kihyun looks so happy, Hoseok wishes that it was that easy. Wishes that it didn’t have to get complicated, wishes that whatever he’s feeling right then wouldn’t make him feel sick to his stomach, but in the best way possible. Because after that second ends, they’re landing right back on solid ground. And this is where the Hoseok who doesn’t believe in magic takes over. 

 

#

 

Hoseok makes good use of the time they have left, because he knows that they don’t have much. They go see every movie in theater. Whenever Hoseok asks, because he’s too much of a coward to say what he really wants to, Kihyun blinks, confused, but he doesn’t seem suspicious. He just thinks Hoseok is some kind of film buff. When they run out of movies, Hoseok starts saying, ‘I want to go to the gym’, and now he’s in better shape than he’s ever been in his life. 

Which Kihyun thoroughly appreciates when he’s working his way down Hoseok’s chest, his mouth leaving a trail of hickeys. 

It’s hard, though, knowing that they have an expiration date. Every time Hoseok is with Kihyun, he imagines that it could be the last time. The last time he gets to hold Kihyun’s hand. The last time Kihyun catches up to him on the sidewalk after catching him off guard. The last time Hoseok gets to see Kihyun’s eyes fluttering shut before they kiss. 

It accumulates so much that at Knight Music’s last performance of the semester, it gets to the point that Hoseok can barely sit still as he’s watching Kihyun. His hands are shaking. Minhyuk shoots him a look, but Hoseok can’t bring himself to acknowledge it. 

Hoseok doesn’t know much about acapella, but even he can tell that Knight Music is good, better than most acapella groups, probably. He can’t believe that these guys are singing without any music on in the background, and yet there was still bass and all the effects of music that made it so nice to listen to. When Kihyun sings his solo, Hoseok pulls his phone out in time to film it, trying not to look so sad while doing so. When Kihyun steps back into the semi-circle, Hoseok lowers his phone and makes eye contact with him. Kihyun’s eyes crinkle into a smile, and Hoseok thinks that his light shines brighter than Hoseok could ever handle. When Hoseok looks at Kihyun, he’s the only thing Hoseok can see: a universe of negative space, engulfing him, leaving him weightless, like gravity’s given up on him. Even if Hoseok was floating light years away, he would trust Kihyun to reach him eventually. That’s how it all works, after all. That’s how it’s always worked. Nothing’s changed. Kihyun’s always been too bright for Hoseok. Hoseok just wishes that he had known that before… 

_You guys ever think you’re going to fall in love?_ the Hyungwon in his head asks him again. And Hoseok thinks that he already has. He takes a deep breath. This is how it’s ending. Maybe Hoseok’s floating too far away, and the universe is too big. A universe of negative space is a very lonely place if the positive space is out of reach. And in this case, it just might be. Kihyun just might be. 

“Dude, clap,” Minhyuk hisses out of the corner of his mouth, startling Hoseok out of his dramatic soliloquy. Everyone else is standing up and clapping, and Knight Music are bowing. 

“We hope our music helps you sleep…. at night,” Kihyun yells, above the crowd, and everyone laughs. It’s not, in Hoseok’s book, a complete winner, but everyone else seems to appreciate it. 

“It’s time,” Hoseok says, standing up. 

“Time for what?” Minhyuk asks. 

“What?” Hoseok says, recovering as quickly as he can. He throws Minhyuk a wink (a blink). “Just talking to myself.” 

“You’re such a drama queen,” Minhyuk says, as they make their way towards the back. Hyunwoo appears out of nowhere and accidentally steps on Hoseok’s feet. He doesn’t even have time to apologize before the crowd moves them in opposite directions. 

“Yeah, I kind of am,” Hoseok says. Maybe he should pick his Theater major back up. Might be worth a shot. “I told Kihyun I was going to meet him at my car because it’s so close, so go away.” 

“Fine, fine,” Minhyuk says, letting himself be shooed off. “I won’t disrupt the lovebirds’ conversation.” 

“Hi,” Kihyun says, somewhat breathlessly, not long afterwards. “You made it out.” 

Hoseok turns around. Kihyun has a lipstick print on his cheek, and confetti in his hair. His smile is the best thing Hoseok has seen all day. “You have a little something on your face.” 

“What?” Kihyun touches his cheek. “Oh, yeah. Seokwon put on lipstick and kissed all of us on the cheek. It’s a tradition for one of the freshmen to do that after every concert.” 

“You guys have some weird traditions,” Hoseok says. He holds out the roses that he had retrieved from inside his car. “These are for you.” 

“I know,” Kihyun says, and Hoseok whacks him with the bouquet, but gently. “I mean, thank you. That’s really sweet of you.” 

“I know,” Hoseok says, and Kihyun whacks him right back, laughing before settling for a kiss. The first time their lips touch, Hoseok sucks in his breath. The second time, he can feel Kihyun leaning into him. The third, Hoseok thinks distantly about changing his mind for the next thing he’s going to say, when Kihyun slips him a little tongue. A dirty trick, but it clouds Hoseok’s mind for a bit. When they break apart, some of the confetti falls from Kihyun’s hair, littering the ground. 

“Did you like the performance?” Kihyun asks. 

“It was amazing,” Hoseok says, sincerely. He has no idea how to go about doing this. “Listen, um. I want to… We need to. We. You and me. We need. I want. I want to.” 

“Talk?” Kihyun finishes. Hoseok stares at him. “I mean, you seemed like you were going to take a while to finish that sentence, and it’s getting late.” 

“Yeah,” Hoseok says, running a hand through his hair. It’s starting to curl at the ends. “We’ve already run out of movies and I’m kind of sick of the gym.” 

“I know,” Kihyun says. “Me too. So talk.” 

“Okay,” Hoseok says, looking everywhere but at Kihyun. “I don’t think we should do this thing that we do now anymore.” 

“You don’t want me to be your pretend boyfriend anymore?” Kihyun asks. His voice shakes a fraction, but Hoseok notices. 

“I don’t think we should do this anymore,” Hoseok repeats. “So yes, I don’t want you to be my pretend boyfriend anymore.” 

“Why now?”

“Because,” Hoseok says. “Because. Because every single day I wake up, it’s like I’m dying inside because I know you’ll never feel about me the way I do about you.” He stutters, but pushes forward. “Because every time I see you smile, it’s the best thing I see, and I can’t keep doing this, Kihyun. I can’t keep pretending like this.” 

Kihyun takes a step back, his expression hardening. “I didn’t know you felt that way.” 

“Yeah?” Hoseok says, letting all the air rush out of him. He feels like a deflated balloon. “Now you do.” 

Kihyun looks down at his feet, some of the confetti falling off and floating towards the ground. The silence is so thick that Hoseok feels glued to the spot. He finally works up the courage to reach out and touch Kihyun’s cheek with the tip of his finger, just for a second. “You know what we should do?” 

Kihyun shifts his balance from one foot to the other. “What?”

“Throw a party.” 

“What?”

“Yeah,” Hoseok says. “It’s almost the end of the semester, and it’s before the finals rush. We should have one last party with the guys.” 

“That sounds like fun,” Kihyun says, hesitantly. 

“Yeah, we can tell everyone that it was a prank,” Hoseok says. “At least one of us will have fun, right?” 

“Hoseok, are you okay?” 

Hoseok doesn’t look at him. “What do you want me to say? That I’ll miss you and I saw this coming but it doesn’t hurt any less? That when I’m with you, I feel like I can finally understand what those stupid radio love songs are talking about? Do you want me to ask you to stay? Stay where? There’s nothing here, Kihyun.” 

“No, I don’t want you to say that,” Kihyun says, obviously struggling. “I just… Did you mean that?” 

“Mean what?”

“That you’ll miss me?” 

“You know the thing about talking about feelings?” Hoseok asks. He can’t look at Kihyun anymore. “Saying them out loud makes them real, and I just said a whole bunch of them. So I think you should go.” 

“But—”

“Kihyun, please?” 

And then he’s walking away, just like that. Hoseok feels like he’s in some kind of romance-drama film, because he swears that as Kihyun’s walking away, he sees it in slow motion, the confetti falling off Kihyun’s hair, some of the rose petals detaching themselves from the flower and floating down, and by the time they land on the ground, it’s Hoseok, surrounded by people, still talking about the performance, heading to their cars. It’s a big crowd, but Hoseok is completely alone. 

 

# 

 

Minhyuk ends up being the one who plans most of the end-of-year bash, half of his laptop screen readings for his history gen. ed. requirement, the other half the guest list. Hyunwoo is nice enough to pick up enough alcohol to send them all to the hospital, and doesn’t bitch about people not paying him back fast enough. Hoseok pretends like nothing is wrong. 

“We have an announcement,” Kihyun says, before people start arriving. It’s just BFD, Seokwon, and Jeonghan there at the moment. “A really important one.” 

“Well then announce it,” Seokwon says, moving over a bit so Yoonho can fit on the couch too. He looks much happier now that he’s done with the pledge process, Hoseok thinks. 

“Kihyun and I broke up,” Hoseok says. Everyone is silent. 

“And we were never dating in the first place,” Kihyun says, the cheerful lilt in his voice so obviously forced. “We tricked all of you!” 

“Oh, come on,” Hoseok says, trying not to let his voice shake. No one’s talked for at least two minutes. “If you guys don’t laugh, it just seems mean.” 

“Why would you do such a thing?” Hyungwon asks. 

“For fun,” Hoseok says. “What’s wrong with two friends playing a practical joke on the rest of their friends.” 

“So,” Jeonghan says, after about another half of minute of the most uncomfortable silence Hoseok has every experienced, “what now?”

“Wait, so everything, the story about how you guys met, which is, let me just say this, the cutest, most disgusting meet-cute ever told, that was all fake?” Minhyuk asks. 

“All fake,” Kihyun confirms. “Hoseok came up with that frappe story when he was on the spot, believe it or not.” 

“Yeah, with a very unconvincing delivery,” Hyungwon mutters.

“Hey!” Hoseok snaps, but he knows Hyungwon’s right.

“Every single time you guys kissed or held hands or any other PDA, that was all staged?” Hyungwon asks suspiciously. “I know Hoseok can somewhat act because I’ve seen him in plays before, but Kihyun is just so most supremely untalented that he couldn’t even pull off a skit in Intro to Bio discussion freshman year. And all he had to do was stand there and be an ovary.” 

“Wait,” Seokwon says. “An ovary? I’ve never heard this story before.” 

“It’s not a very good one,” Kihyun warns him. 

“So you’re telling me every single time you guys did something couple-y, you guys decided on it before, basically scripted it, and then acted it all out?” Jooheon asks, disbelief clear in his tone. “Because you guys were more convincing than like, half of the couples in Hollywood.”

“And Kihyun, again, is the worst actor there ever was,” Hyungwon adds.

“Please get over the ovary thing, that was more than a year ago,” Kihyun says, voice strained. 

“That brought my grade down so that I almost lost my A,” Hyungwon sniffs. “I’m never letting it go.”

“You lost five points! On a twenty five point assignment! Counting for less than 10% of your entire grade!” 

“So it was all scripted?” Minhyuk presses. “Everything?” 

Hoseok looks at Kihyun, thinking of all the times they had spontaneously decided to pull off a couple thing just to irritate Minhyuk and put on a show. Every small touch, the kind that just barely grazes his skin, but Kihyun’s always followed up with something else to let Hoseok know that it was him. Kihyun could never fake that kind of stuff; even Hoseok, who hadn’t been present at the time of the Ovary Incident, knows that.

“Yeah,” Kihyun says. “All fake.” 

There’s a pause, then, “Okay, well I have to say I’m kind of impressed,” Hyungwon says, reluctantly. “If you guys filmed a movie about this, everyone would have totally fallen for it. There would be so many rumors that you guys were actually dating off-screen.”

Kihyun cracks a smile, and the mood of the room mellows out. “Not in this production. Maybe in the next one.” 

“Next one?” Hoseok asks, forcing a smile on his face. Yoonho is grinning, throwing a cushion at Hoseok. 

“There’s always a next one,” Kihyun says, and Hoseok knows that only he can hear that sad tinge to his words. 

“Man, if you guys can script out the rest of your lives, I think we’re going to have a new classic,” Seokwon says. “Goodbye, _The Notebook_. You could even hire me to act in it. I could be Hoseok, we have similar ears.” 

“You’re too tall to play Hoseok, he needs to be played by a short actor,” Minhyuk says, and Hoseok throws the cushion at him. 

“Okay,” Hyungwon says. “If you two are such good actors that you pulled this off, pull it off one more time.”

Hoseok freezes. “What?”

“One more kiss,” Hyungwon says. “You know, for the road.” Hoseok can’t tell if he’s being serious or not.

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” Kihyun says, reluctantly, but he’s already looking at Hoseok. “That’s not such a great idea.”

“No,” Hoseok says. “It’s not.” The next thing he knows, Kihyun’s kissing him, and it’s like the ground has opened up and swallowed them whole. Even the tips of his fingers are tingling as he puts a hand on Kihyun’s cheek so he can’t pull away. But Kihyun isn’t even trying to end the kiss, and Hoseok can feel his stomach and heart jumping up to his throat as they fall into each other, everything inside him getting mixed up, and it’s hard to breathe. The moment after, they break away at the same time, Kihyun’s eyes wide, and Hoseok knows that the surprise is mirrored on his own face. 

“Well,” Minkyun says. “I’m going to go wash my eyes with holy water.” 

“I’m coming with you,” Jooheon says.

“Okay, kids, settle down,” Hyunwoo says, getting up, as someone knocks on the door. “You clean up what you throw up, remember that tonight. Hoseok, where are the bunnies?”

“In their cages,” Hoseok says, still a little punch-drunk. “Except Pumpkin, because she left earlier today.”

“What do you mean, she left,” Jooheon asks. “Did she just hop away by herself?” He laughs at his own joke. No one joins him.

“No, I took her,” Kihyun says. “We set up a cage and a little pen for her at my apartment.” 

“I didn’t know Pumpkin was Kihyun’s,” Hyungwon says, as he starts passing around beers, because more people are showing up now. 

“Yeah, we were just keeping her until Kihyun could convince his roommates about her,” Hoseok says, opening his beer on the coffee table after making sure to check that Minhyuk wasn’t around. When he looks up, Kihyun’s talking to one of Jeonghan’s friends, the one with pretty eyes. _Might as well_ , Hoseok thinks. 

“Okay, let’s move this downstairs,” Hoseok yells over the crowd, so he’ll be heard. He connects his laptop the speakers in the basement, loud enough that the base reverberates against the walls, but not so loudly that his neighbors will complain. He sets up a playlist long enough to go for a couple hours, but waits for a bit, watching other people get drunk and dance. 

“Well, this looks like just the pity party,” Hyungwon says, when he ses Hoseok standing behind his laptop. “Come on, let’s go get people to shotgun beers with us.” 

“Only if I have like, six shots first,” Hoseok says, and that’s his last memory for the night. 

The next day, he wakes up on the living room couch, with his worst hangover yet. Right next to him is a trash can, with a post-it note stuck on it, reading: _I’m glad you had a good time but if you throw up on the couch you’re dead to me. Love, Jooheon_. 

“Looks like I’m not dead to him,” Hoseok mutters to himself, and winces at the volume. It’s going to be a very low-key day. No loud noises. 

Right at that moment, someone kicks the front door open. Hoseok thinks that the resulting bang of the door against the wall has killed him, because his head is falling off. His ears are bleeding. The world is coming to an end. No one else seems to notice. 

“Good morning, handsome,” Minhyuk says cheerfully. “I hope you’re ready to burn in hell for last night.” 

“Shit,” Hoseok whispers, because that’s the highest volume he can manage. “What did I do?”

“Nothing much, I just wanted to freak you out.” 

“Never mind me, hell is filled with people like _you_ ,” Hoseok groans, collapsing on the couch again. Minhyuk sets a sports drink down next to him. “Never mind again, you’re not going to hell just yet.”

“What do you remember?” Minhyuk asks, sitting in the chair next to the couch. “From last night, I mean.” 

“Um, well,” Hoseok says. “I was downstairs making sure the playlist was perfect, then Hyungwon saw me sulking and got me to shotgun beers, but I said, ‘only if I take like six shots first’, and that’s it.” 

“That was like thirty minutes after the party started, and that’s all you remember?” 

“Yeah, what time is it now?” Hoseok asks, patting his pockets for his phone and panicking before seeing it on the coffee table. 

“Almost four in the afternoon,” Minhyuk says. “We thought you died. You took those six shots, according to Hyungwon. And then you challenged a bunch of people to shotgunning beers and you won all of them, congrats.” 

“Thanks.” 

“Then I went downstairs and gave your sorry ass a towel and a new shirt, and then you flirted with Dasom like, a _lot_. She definitely thinks you’re going to call her today. My advice is don’t.”

“Never.” 

“Wait, also I think you two might have had sex in the downstairs bathroom.”

Hoseok almost sits up before his headache forces him back down. “ _What_?”

“I’m just kidding, that was Changkyun and some girl, I don’t know who though,” Minhyuk says, cackling. Hoseok hates him. “We should bug him about that later.” 

“You’re a terrible person.” 

“And then after the whole flirting and making out with Dasom—”

“Making out?” Hoseok interrupts. 

Minhyuk giggles. Hoseok hates him. “I’m kidding again. Man, this is going to be fun.” 

“Please just keep going,” Hoseok groans.

“After flirting with Dasom, you were going up the stairs and Hyojung accidentally spilled some of her drink on your new shirt, and you apologized to her about being such an ass. I think she forgave you. But don’t call her, because after the apology, you tried to stick your tongue down her throat.”

“Oh my god, please say you’re kidding.”

“Not this time.” 

“ _Dammit_.” 

“Then Hyunwoo and I dragged you into the kitchen and force fed you water for like half an hour. It’s time, Hoseok. Accept us as your gods.” Minhyuk spreads his arms wide.

“No.” 

Minhyuk huffs. “Then, Hyunwoo went upstairs to get you another shirt and I turned around for like five seconds, and we lost you. That’s where my part of the story ends.” 

“But that can’t have been after like ten,” Hoseok protests, ignoring his headache. The sports drink is helping. “Who saw me afterwards?” 

“Me,” Jooheon says, coming in with saltines and holding them out to Hoseok like a peace offering. Hoseok takes them and tries not to think about how they’ve probably planned this entire thing out already. “You went back downstairs and tried to man the bar with me.” 

“You mean the folding table of alcohol?” Minhyuk asks flatly. Jooheon ignores him. 

“That one girl Changkyun thought was cute, what was her name? Soyeon? Soju?” 

“Her name wasn’t _Soju_ ,” Hoseok says. “Wasn’t it like Sojung? Minkyun’s business major childhood friend?”

“Now this, he remembers,” Minhyuk mutters. Hoseok ignores him too and chews on a saltine. It helps a little. 

“Yeah, Sojung,” Jooheon says. “She and her friends were taking a shot and she invited you to join them, what a little devil. And you said yes, and she totally flirted with you for a bit. Changkyun’s going to have your head.” 

“Please just keep going,” Hoseok says helplessly. 

“Then you and Yoonho played pong against Kwangji and Seokwon, and they swept the floor with your asses,” Jooheon says, stealing Hoseok’s sports drink and downing half the bottle. “Then you danced for like, an hour straight. There’s a lot of people who think that you’re going to call them today. Don’t do it.” 

“Never,” Hoseok repeats. “Is that it?”

“I mean, there was one point you were just wearing your boxers, grinding on Jihyun. She so enjoyed it.” 

“Oh my god,” Hoseok says. “That pretty girl from ASA? I grinded on her? She is so out of my league.” 

“I _know_ ,” Jooheon says. “And then you made out with one of Sojung’s friends for a bit, I don’t know who, and then Minkyun eventually had to retrieve her because Sojung was getting upset. Then Hyungwon was nice enough to make you put your clothes back on, except some girl stole your shirt. You’re probably never getting it back.” 

“Damn, I already have like no clothes,” Hoseok says, sadly. He would’ve gone shopping more often, but he’s been so busy pretending to date someone. “Is that it?” 

“No, you made out with a lot of other people, which is why they all think you’re going to call them today. I don’t know any of their names,” Jooheon says. “That’s it.” 

“That’s not so bad,” Hoseok says, wincing. “It could be worse. Did Kihyun see any of that?”

Minhyuk gives him a look. “Why does it matter?”

Hoseok shrugs, trying to keep it cool. “Just wondering. I gotta know everyone who has blackmail content on me. It’s to ensure safe business.” 

Yeah, whatever,” Minhyuk says. “But Kihyun left a little after you went downstairs to hook up your laptop. Said he had an exam on Monday that he needed to study for, but he looked really sad, Hoseok.” 

“Oh,” Hoseok says. “He never really looks sad in front of me.”

“That’s because it’s you, and he needs to keep up appearances,” Jooheon snaps. Hoseok has literally never heard Jooheon _snap_ before. “Jeonghan was telling me how many times he’d walk into their room and Kihyun would just act like he hadn’t just been crying. His eyes have been red since the Knight Music performance, apparently. And he keeps falling asleep with his chem textbook under his head like a pillow.” 

“Oh,” Hoseok says again. 

“Just because he didn’t cry his eyes out in front of you doesn’t mean that he didn’t cry his eyes out at all,” Minhyuk says. “You, on the other hand, are a robot.” 

“Nah,” Hoseok says, matter-of-factly. “It’s all about internalizing everything. You have to push it down until it’s like one tiny cube of feelings, and then you just let it sit.” 

“That is actually the unhealthiest way to deal with feelings,” Jooheon says, as Minhyuk goes to check up on the bunnies. They’re always a little jumpy for a couple days after a party. “You have to cry it out.” 

“You never cry it out,” Hoseok points out. 

Jooheon crosses his arms over his chest. “That’s what you think.” Hoseok wants to ask, but Jooheon motions for him to come to the den with him. 

“So,” Minhyuk says, when they’re within earshot. “About that kiss.” 

“What kiss?” Hoseok asks immediately. 

“You and Kihyun,” Minhyuk says, turning around to look at him. “Are you guys sure you’re breaking up?” 

Hoseok looks down at Lemon and Lime, sniffing his feet. Mozzie is pawing at Minhyuk’s leg, and Sprite is rolling around on the floor. They only have four bunnies now. 

“Yeah,” Hoseok says. “I’m sure.”

 

#

 

For the final three weeks of the semester, Hoseok makes a point to never make out-of-the-ordinary plans with anyone. It’s hard enough avoiding his housemates now that his cube of feelings has imploded and he’s crying every other hour. Puffy eyes are not a good look on him. Still, he goes to the gym with Minhyuk, teaches Hyungwon how to make pancakes (from the mix, not from scratch; Hyungwon isn’t ready to make anything from scratch), and helps Jooheon become friendlier with the bunnies. By the time finals actually start, Jooheon can pet Lemon without any hissing from either of them. 

“You look better,” Minhyuk says, as he’s getting on the treadmill. Hoseok uses the spray and rag to clean his own before getting on. “No more puffy eyes.” 

“Yeah, it’s been a full two hours since I’ve cried,” Hoseok says. “I’m thinking of dropping a weight on my foot so I can have an excuse for the next time I start crying.” 

Minhyuk looks sad. “I know you’re having a really hard time Hoseok,” he says. “I’m your best friend. You can talk to me about this stuff.” 

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Hoseok says, putting his earbuds in his ears. Minhyuk stops talking, and when Hoseok looks up, he knows why. Kihyun is standing near the ellipticals, looking at him. When he notices that Hoseok can see him, he bolts for the stairs, and Hoseok is almost completely sure that he can hear Kihyun’s shoes hitting each step of the way down. 

“Okay,” Hoseok says. “It’s time for the weights.” He gets off the treadmill, but before he can take another step, Minhyuk grabs his arm. His fingers are like claws, and Hoseok winces. “What the fuck do you practice holding that your grip is this strong?” 

“The dicks of men who have sinned,” Minhyuk says, completely seriously, drawing half a laugh out of Hoseok. Minhyuk is so fucking weird. “We should just skip the gym today.” 

“We never skip the gym.” 

“Let’s go to Local Burger and get greasy food and milkshakes,” Minhyuk says. “Milkshakes without any protein in them.” 

“Please don’t tell me that you’re going to rip my dick off after we become gluttons,” Hoseok says warily. 

“Nah,” Minhyuk says. “Then I’ll have to rip my own dick off, and I prefer to leave my genitalia intact.” 

Minhyuk doesn’t make him talk all the way to Local Burger, changing the radio stations himself at red lights so it doesn’t interfere with his driving. When they get to Local Burger, Yoonho isn’t working, but another college-age guy is, his name tag says ‘Seungcheol’. 

“Can I get you any appetizers?” Seungcheol asks, all prim and proper and polite. It’s weird. Hoseok is used to Yoonho fumbling with every tray he carries. 

“Yes,” Minhyuk says. “All of them.” 

“All of them?” Hoseok and Seungcheol ask at the same time. 

“And two vanilla milkshakes please,” Minhyuk says, giving Seungcheol a sunny smile. 

“You want 10 appetizers?” Seungcheol asks again. 

“Yes,” Minhyuk says. “Take your time!”

“You better be paying for this,” Hoseok says, when Seungcheol walks away. 

“I have something better,” Minhyuk says, and pulls a little ziploc bag from his coat. Hoseok swears he’s seen this exact scene in a spy movie. “I made brownies.” 

“Dude, what the _fuck_. I thought Jooheon was the only one out of us who has a dealer?”

“He is,” Minhyuk says. “I nabbed it from him. And it’s not a lot, just a little bit for both of us. I gave the rest to Jooheon as a peace offering.” 

Hoseok picks up the little brownie square. “Hello darkness, my old friend.” 

“Stop being such a drama queen,” Minhyuk says, chewing on his brownie. “It’s just enough so that we’ll be able to finish all the food and also talk about life.” 

Hoseok pops his brownie in his mouth. “It’s been too long since we’ve gotten high and talked about life.” 

By the time the first appetizers come, Minhyuk has already asked Hoseok his opinions on teddy bears, throw blankets, socks, and clocks. 

“I think clocks are really important,” Hoseok says, chewing on a mozzarella stick. “How weird is it that we have little clocks on our wrists? And there’s a clock, like, _in_ our phones. Like a phone clock. But every phone is a phone clock. Maybe we should just call them clock phones.” 

“These buffalo wings could bring world peace,” Minhyuk says, sucking on his finger to get all the sauce. “I think they really could. We should take them to the U.N. building and see what they have to say about it.”

“Oh my god, that’s an amazing idea,” Hoseok says, spearing a crab cake with his fork. “We could start a campaign. Appetizers to save the world. We could become famous and go to jail for our cause. Maybe we’ll die and become martyrs.” 

“Dude, I don’t know about death,” Minhyuk says uneasily. “Who knows what’s out there.” 

“What if the hell god is like, really hot though,” Hoseok says. “You can train Cerberus, I’ll oogle at the hot god.” 

“I really like my socks right now,” Minhyuk says dreamily. “Socks are so nice, don’t you think? Cold feet? Put on socks! Sad? Put on socks! Sleepy? Put on socks!”

“But what if the socks get wet?” Hoseok says, but he’s giggling. He finishes off the mozzarella sticks. “This was such a good idea. It’s like everything is happy with the world.” His phone buzzes. It’s a text from Jooheon, asking where they are. He texts back, _Mi nhyuk and i are at local Burger and were high as FUCK BITCHES_. 

“We’re almost done with everything,” Minhyuk says, slurping his shake. It’s getting late, but neither of them notice. 

“Dude, you weren’t there but once, when you were on your date with Seokwon— Oh my god, how are you and Seokwon?” 

“Not happening,” Minhyuk says, shaking the ketchup bottle. “I don’t think we’re a good fit. And I know there’s someone out there who’s better for me, you know? I believe in soul mates.” 

“You ever think you’re going to fall in love?” Hoseok says, repeating Hyungwon. “Hyungwon asked us that a while ago when you weren’t there and it’s really fucked me up inside.” 

“Were you ever in love?” Minhyuk asks. He almost spills what’s left of the parmesan fries on the floor but he doesn’t take his eyes off of Hoseok. 

“I blew it,” Hoseok says, and he can feel the tears this time. “Fuck, I never cry when I’m high, it must be wearing off.” 

“Let’s get you two home,” Jooheon says, materializing out of thin air. If Hoseok squints hard enough, Jooheon is dressed up like Harry Potter. So maybe the brownies aren’t wearing off. He thinks he sees Jooheon give Seungcheol his credit card. 

“Are you magic?” Hoseok asks, and Jooheon just gives him a long look before picking up the last bit of food, a breadstick, off the table and motions them to get up. He chews on the breadstick, and Hoseok thinks he looks like a chipmunk. 

“You look like a chipmunk,” Minhyuk says. 

“Dude, oh my god, I was just thinking the same thing,” Hoseok says, fist bumping Minhyuk. “Man, we really are best friends. We think alike.” 

“Dude, I read once that your soul mate is your best friend, not your significant other,” Minhyuk says. “But then I thought, what if your best friend is your significant other?” 

“Walk faster,” Jooheon says, shepherding them out the door. “Hyunwoo dropped me off so I could drive Minhyuk’s car back. Where are your keys?”

“In my back pocket, handsome,” Minhyuk says, winking seductively. “I could ride on your car all day.” 

“Dude, I think you’re being a little obvious with your crush,” Hoseok says, as they both get in the backseat. Jooheon turns on the engine. 

“It’s like Jooheon’s the daddy and we’re the kids,” Minhyuk yells.

“Put on your seat belts or I will show you a world of pain,” Jooheon threatens, and they shut up and buckle their seat belts. 

“But what if I’m already in a world of pain?” Hoseok says. “I fucked up so bad. I should never have done such a stupid thing.” 

“Talk it out, bro,” Minhyuk says, nodding. 

“I think I’m in love with him,” Hoseok says. “It’s been almost two weeks since we’ve talked, but everytime I close my eyes I see his face. It makes me want to keep my eyes closed forever.” 

“Keep going, bro, you’re doing great.” 

“Living normally is like living with a punctured lung,” Hoseok continues. “I didn’t even know until I met Kihyun. When I was with Kihyun, it’s like I could breathe for real again. Normally, if I breathe too deeply it hurts my chest, but with Kihyun that stuff kind of just went away. Because Kihyun made everything so much better. He’s too good for me, you know.” 

“No he’s not,” Minhyuk protests. “You guys were perfect. I’m so sad that you two broke up. Still.” 

“I can’t go out with him again,” Hoseok says. “Even if he said yes. What if we broke up?”

“What if you don’t?” Jooheon asks. 

“Yeah, but what if we _do_ ,” Hoseok says. “If it hurts this much now, I don’t want to think about how much it’ll hurt after a real relationship.” 

“Yeah, but _what if you don’t_ ,” Minhyuk repeats. “You could be happy forever. No more punctured lung.” 

“But,” Hoseok says weakly. “It doesn’t matter, he would never say yes to someone like me.” 

“Come on,” Jooheon says, parking the car. They must be home. “Let’s get you two into your beds.” 

“I want to go to Kihyun’s bed,” Hoseok says, resisting, but eventually Hyunwoo comes out of the house and throws Hoseok over his shoulder. “Don’t take me to my room!”

“You are never making pot brownies again,” Jooheon says to Minhyuk, but to Hoseok it seems very far away. Maybe Kihyun is a fairy. Or an angel. No, that’s ridiculous. But, what if they were all fairies? Maybe they are all fairies. If they were all fairies, how would they all know the difference? 

“I think we’re fairies,” Hoseok informs Hyunwoo’s butt. 

“Please don’t talk to my butt,” Hyunwoo says. “The last guy who did that I dumped him so fast his eyes were spinning.” 

“Did you know that for some dogs, their eyes can pop out of their sockets?” Hoseok says giggling. “Isn’t that so gross? But poor dogs.” 

“Please get some sleep,” Hyunwoo says, setting Hoseok down on his bed. “You have a lot of studying to do tomorrow.” 

“I’m going to ace all my finals,” Hoseok says, already snuggling up to his pillow. “But if all fails, I can publish my fairy theory and become famous, and then I can retire early. Maybe Kihyun will come back to me if I publish my fairy theory.” He snores. It’s been a long day. 

 

#

 

After four straight hours of statistics, Hoseok takes a study break, lying on his bed. While he’s on his side, so his tears won’t go into his ears, he lists every single bad thing about Kihyun that he can think of, and comes up with one: he made fun of the Cap 2 and Pokemon parallel. And he might be wrong, but that’s not a strong enough bad thing. Now, if he had made fun of Cap 2 or Pokemon themselves, that would be a different story. But he hadn’t. And Hoseok is stuck with his miserable list of one bad thing about Kihyun. Maybe if his cube of feelings never imploded, he wouldn't be left in this stupid situation. Maybe if he hadn’t spent the entire time they pretend dated living like it was real, it would be easier. 

There’s a soft knock on his door. When he doesn’t answer, Hyungwon pokes his head in.

“Do you want dinner?” he asks. 

“No,” Hoseok sniffles, sounding as miserable as he looks. Hyungwon comes over to him and sits down on the floor next to the bed. 

“How are you holding up?” 

“I’m amazing,” Hoseok says sarcastically, because he knows Hyungwon won’t be offended. 

“I can’t believe the couple that made me believe in love again was fake,” Hyungwon says off-handedly. “Are you sure it was fake?”

“It was all fake,” Hoseok says. “I told you that. Why don’t you believe me?”

“The question is, why don’t you believe yourself?” Hyungwon says, getting back up. “You know, I didn’t believe you the first time you told me Kihyun was your boyfriend.” 

“I know, I know,” Hoseok says. “My delivery was terrible.” 

“Yeah, but the first time I believed you, like really believed that you two were together, it was one of our movie nights. Kihyun joined us for the first time, and we watched that dumb chick flick that kind of changed my life, _13 Going On 30_ , remember? We finished the movie, and the rest of us went upstairs to do homework or go to bed, or whatever. But you guys stayed downstairs, talking about something, like Pokemon and some Marvel movie?” 

Hoseok cracks a smile. 

“I don’t know,” Hyungwon continues. “I was going to come back downstairs to get some water, but you guys didn’t see me. But Kihyun’s arm was still around you, and he looked at you like there wasn’t anybody else in the universe. When you turned around for a moment to pick something up from the floor, the way he looked at you, it was one of those things you only read about in stories. Like he was going to hold on to you as long as you let him, but he cared too much about you to push you into anything you didn’t want.” 

“I remember that,” Hoseok says. “I dropped my phone.” 

“I didn’t want to interrupt, so I went back upstairs. An hour later, I’m like _dying_ of thirst so I tried to go back downstairs again, and there was a different movie on but you had fallen asleep. I forgot how ugly you look when you sleep.” 

“Thanks.” 

Hyungwon laughs. “Your head fell down his shoulder and into his lap, but he just let you stay, and just played with your hair a bit. Even leaned down and kissed your forehead. There wasn’t anyone around he needed to convince, it was just you and him. Then, a couple minutes later, he put a cushion underneath your head and got up. And before he left, he got down to the couch’s height and kind of just resting his head on your arm for a bit, like he wanted to stay there forever. And then I believed it, I really believed it. Because no matter how good an actor you are, and Kihyun’s _not_ , you can’t fake that kind of stuff.” 

“It was all fake,” Hoseok repeats. 

Hyungwon shrugs, hesitating before reaching over and wiping a tear off of Hoseok’s face. “Could’ve fooled me,” he says softly, getting up. “Dinner’s not much anyway, Jooheon is making mac and cheese. If you’re hungry later, Hyunwoo just went grocery shopping so we have a lot of food.” He leaves, closing the door behind him. 

“It was all fake,” Hoseok whispers again to himself, but he’s never been good at hiding the truth from himself. 

 

#

 

Finals week drags Hoseok to hell and back, but that was to be expected. The night before his last final, which is unfortunately at 8 a.m, Hoseok drinks an entire pot of coffee and chugs a 5-hour energy drink so he can pull an all-nighter. He downs everything in record speed, according to Minhyuk, even though Hoseok warned him not to keep time. He’s pretty sure the caffeine in his body outweighs the water content when he walks out of his Finance final. 

So, naturally, he goes to see Jooheon, who finished his finals two days ago, that punk, at work. 

“I’m free!” Hoseok announces, when Jooheon looks at him expectantly for his order. 

“One caramel frappuccino,” Jooheon calls out. It’s gotten warm enough out that Hoseok can get away with wearing just a T-shirt, but the air conditioning in the Starbucks is cold. “You’re lucky there’s no one in line behind you.”

“Why?” Hoseok shivers. 

“Then you wouldn’t get to talk to me,” Jooheon says. “You’re staying here over the summer, right?”

“Yeah,” Hoseok says. “Aren’t we all?” 

“I think so,” Jooheon says. “We’re going to have to look into getting a new house for next next year. Changkyun and Yoonho are begging me to help them live off campus.” 

“What about Minkyun?” Hoseok sadly watches a frappuccino get made, because it isn’t his. 

“He’s living with Sojung and some of their friends in an on-campus suite,” Jooheon says. “You wanna bet on Sojung and Minkyun getting together?”

“No,” Hoseok says. “Unlike you and Minhyuk, I am not Satan’s spawn.” 

“Don’t sound so sure,” Jooheon says. “Anyway, where’s everybody else?”

“Hyunwoo and Minhyuk have their last final right now, and Hyungwon finished yesterday. So he’s probably sleeping. We won’t see him awake until tomorrow, probably.” Hoseok drums his fingers on the counter. “Are you working full time here over the summer?”

“No, just part time. I got that internship from my professor,” Jooheon says. “Do you ever listen to me when I’m talking?”

Hoseok laughs. “I remember now. That electronic system development internship computer gadgets complicated words.” 

“Didn’t you get an internship at one of the banks downtown?”

“Yeah, and mine’s paid,” Hoseok says. Jooheon rolls his eyes and relaxes against the counter. “Is my drink getting made?” 

“What?” 

“My frappe,” Hoseok says. “The caffeine levels in my body are becoming dangerously low. Maybe even equal to the amount of water.” 

“You didn’t order a frappe,” Jooheon says. “At least, you never paid for it.” 

“What?” Hoseok narrows his eyes. “What are you playing at now.” 

“I suggest going over to that guy near the window and asking him if you can have his,” Jooheon says. 

“Dude, I’m not walking over to some complete stranger and asking for hi— Oh.” It’s Kihyun. Of course it’s Kihyun. “I take it back,” Hoseok says. “You’re not the spawn of Satan. You’re _Satan_.” 

“Wrong,” Jooheon says. “I’m Cupid.” 

“I really and truly hate you,” Hoseok says. 

“I know,” Jooheon says, smiling. “Now go.” 

Hoseok can literally hear his heart pounding with every step he takes. Going to Kihyun’s table is the longest walk of his life. When he gets there, Kihyun looks up, and Hoseok has missed his face so much. His stupid face that looks like total shit. Hoseok has never been happier to see total shit in his life. 

“Hi,” Hoseok says. 

“Can I help you?” Kihyun asks, a smile tinging his lips. It’s the best thing Hoseok’s seen in over a month. 

“This is my drink,” Hoseok says, pointing at the frappe. “It’s mine, and I want it back.” 

“Only if I get your number,” Kihyun says, as Hoseok sits down across from him. 

“You have my number.” 

“Then we have a problem,” Kihyun says. “You can’t have the drink back.” 

“Okay,” Hoseok says. “How are we going to solve this?”

Kihyun leans in closer. “You can help me make a pros and cons list.” 

“What?” 

“A pros and cons list of what would happen if I dated Shin Hoseok,” Kihyun says. 

“You go first,” Hoseok says, taking a deep breath to stop his voice from shaking. 

“Okay,” Kihyun says. “Pro: I get to be with Hoseok.” 

“That’s a pretty good pro,” Hoseok says, cracking a smile. “But what about all the cons? There’s a lot.” 

Kihyun shrugs. “What’s a couple of cons next to the best pro in the world?” 

Hoseok thinks about how worried he had been about a future break up with Kihyun. He thinks about Jooheon and Minhyuk, both asking him, ‘But what if you don’t?’. What if they don’t break up? And so what if they do? They’ll try until they can’t. Hoseok knows that for sure. Kihyun reaches over and touches his hand. The rest of the world falls away, and Hoseok isn’t lying when he says that Kihyun’s the only one he sees. 

“I can’t think of a single con that could keep me away from you,” Kihyun says. “So Hoseok, will you be my boyfriend?” 

Hoseok looks down at their hands. “Would you hate me if I said no right now?”

“ _Fuck_ you, I take it back.” 

Hoseok laughs, catching Kihyun’s hand mid air and bringing it back down, grounding them to reality. “Yes,” he says. “Of course it’s a yes. Who would’ve thought I would end up dating my ex-FWB’s ex-roommate? Fate works in weird ways, you know.” 

“You remember that?” Kihyun’s eyes crinkle into smiles. 

“I remember everything,” Hoseok says. “Well, almost everything. But that’s a story for later.” 

“I’m bringing Pumpkin back,” Kihyun says. “She’s lonely without her friends.” 

“Me too,” Hoseok says. Kihyun’s hand on his is both careless and intimate, and Hoseok falls in love all over again. 

“Do you realize that if we were in a movie, this would be the last scene?” Kihyun asks. “They’d pan out on us getting up and leaving the Starbucks, with a cheesy love song playing in the background, and focus in on something random, like a leaf falling from a tree. Then the screen would fade to black, and they’d roll credits.” 

“We really did go see a lot of movies together, didn’t we?” Hoseok’s heart swells up, and this time, he doesn’t fight it.

“Yeah,” Kihyun says. His face splits into a grin. “Let’s do it again.” 

 

#

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> (cue panning out on them leaving starbucks, the cheesy love song, the leaf falling from the tree, fade to black, roll credits) 
> 
>  
> 
> [crop top](http://herwhisperisthe-jyp.tumblr.com/post/99138945261/i-had-a-dream-that-i-was-walking-around-in-a-shirt) | [cap 2 + pokemon](http://iwouldfookthat.tumblr.com/post/118897261027/i-cant-believe-captain-america-the-winter)


End file.
